MN please dont let me down, I really need you

[naswm]

I am shaking so much I can hardly type

dh started treatment today and is suffering horrendous side effects. It is horrible to watch. It brings back so much torment.

I want to get in the car and drive far far away from here and take all my pills.

I love him so dearly - but I cant watch him like this. I am trapped in this life. My DSs are asleep upstairs. I love them so much too. They need me. My dh needs me. But I cant cope with them.

How am I goin to get through this?

I badly need a drink but am even frightened to do that.

[BreeVanDerCamp]

Ok


Deep breaths.....


Break it down into bitesize pieces.

[BreeVanDerCamp]

What would happen if you had a drink ?

[Kathyis6incheshigh]

lots of people here Naswm. Keep posting.

[naswm]

I need to check him

[BreeVanDerCamp]

Will wait here for a while.

[Kathyis6incheshigh]

would anything else help instead? a good old fashioned cup of tea?
or a very tiny mini drink which would calm you a little but not impair your functioning? Only suggesting this if drink is not an issue for you in general.

[BreeVanDerCamp]

Drink can be an issue for NASWM which is why I was trying to establish if one would do.

[onlyjoking9329]

Keep on talking, today is bound to be crap but hoping tomorrow will be a bit better, i think you need to concentrate on just an hour at a time. don't try for more than that today, is DH being sick?
would it be difficult to just have a couple of drinks?
do you have someone who can come sit with you?
i am on MSN if you want to chat.

[Kathyis6incheshigh]

Fio is right - you can do it.
Asking for support on Mumsnet is always a good first step.

[GibbonInARibbon]

Hi nas, not been on much lately so haven't had a chance to catch up
So sorry it's so hard at the moment x

[naswm]

sorry

tiny bit camler atm

he is more restful

I am felein v weak and v tearful and v frightened

[GibbonInARibbon]

Glad you feel calmer, it must be so tough and you need to give yourself credit x

[naswm]

I just forced myself to eat someting.

I was going into a panic attach

think I am in shock

I know I need to go and check now but I am so frightedn

lots nice faces here, thanks mn
(bree who are you?)

[naswm]

I so scared

[naswm]

I dont know

I want to get away. I am trapped

[MegaLegs]

I don't know your situation but is there anyone close who could come and be with you?

[GibbonInARibbon]

Did you get the intense course approved?

[naswm]

mega no, a friend sent text asking how went. I replied. Said was all bad. She hasnt replied.

intense declined

[naswm]

no one knwows what to say when I tell the truth - and people wonder why I haave learnt to keep eveyritng to myself

[MegaLegs]

Stay here and tell us all you want.