Does it ever get better?

[saffymum]

Hi I MN now and then don't think anyone really knows me so I don't care about my name showing. Life is really getting me down today. DS who is turning 3 in March is such an energetic kid and hyper is a word that comes to mind. I can't have a normal life or even a vaguely calm day. He talks incessantly, won't sit still for 5 mins, runs everywhere. We went to the pub for a pint and a snack earlier for less than an hour and we had to leave because he was going up and down the stairs and wouldn't even allow us to finish a single sentence let alone a drink or our snacks. Poured juice on table, salt, tried to escape under the table. He's hyper but I don't think its ADHD. The nursery say hes 'just got more energy than most kids' but don't think anything's wrong nor the HV who says if he can watch a dvd then he can't have it. I even took time off work to watch frm the teachers room this week to see if its just me that he's like that with ie are my parenting skills sh*t. he doesn't sit still for a second. Of 6 kids he had 2 teachers give him at least 50% of their attention over 45 mins. The poor other kids hardly got any. My marriage is pushed to the limit. Normal life is impossible, the supermarket is a nightmare, friends houses we often leave early in embarrasment. DH works 90 hour weeks and over weekends and I think HE is depressed and he has just withdrawn and is threatening to leave the country. I'm tired so tired. has anyone got any suggestions or ideas.

[tommysmama]

Oh im so sorry for you saffymum, this sounds like a nightmare.

are you sure he hasn't got ADHD or something similar? I haven't really much experience on this i just think it sounds like some kind of hyperactive condition.. maybe if you could get your GP to refer you to a specialist?

Dont think that it could be your fault though, i doubt its got anything to do with your parenting skills. You are obviously concerned which means that you are a good mum.

Could you maybe have either your or DH parents or other relatives watch your DS for a weekend so you and DH can have some time alone together?

And, this might be a silly suggestion, but maybe try to spend less time doing stressdul things? Do your supermarket shopping online when your DS is in bed for example, and then spend your days trying to 'tire him out'? maybe try to take him to the park and let him run about to use up his energy, or to indoor play areas.

I really would take him to the GP though and see what they say, ask for a specialist to see him.
I hope things get better for you..

[saffymum]

thanks for your reasurring message, I must be on the right track, just signed up with ASDA and will be getting groceries every 2 weeks so thats one less thing to worry about. We don't have any family here in the UK. Friends have offered to take him but both ladies are pg and I just don't feel it would be fair to leave him with them as it will be so tiring. I think I am going to try my GP this week when my boss is out maybe take him and I saw somewhere about a cranial osteopath which can help with hyperactivity.

[dogbety]

hi saffymum, hope u feelin abit better.Ive only just joined this site, but i felt better myself when i had told my problems.Dont think i can offer you too much advise sorry, but have you thought about things he eats. I no some friends who thought this is mad at first, but after they stoped certain foods it really did help with there children.Also there is a volunteer place called Home Start who can help with these sort of problems. They have people who can come and visit and help give you a break. (I live in the manchester area so dont no if they run were u live).+Does he get up early too.What time he go to bed.If you keep him out all day playing on the park and stuff would he go to sleep or can he go on even longer.I think you should speak to your Hv and maybe even video him so she can see for herself.Sorry it not much help but good luck.Take care.

[Thinkstoomuch]

Just to add my voice in sympathy really. It does sound like you should try to get a further opinion on possible ADHD. Also have you considered his diet for E numbers and too much sugar?

[livysmum]

My cousin is very hyper aswell and my aunt just does what tommysmama said. just let him run loose in a park and get lots of energy out.
I know how it can be in another country away from family. I'm from Canada and here in the UK so no help from my side. I feel your pain.

as for shopping.. I saw this on supernany once, she gave the kids like magnetic boards with picture magnets of the groceries they need so the kids were helping with the shopping which ment their minds were occupied with doing a task rather then having a fit or running wild with lots of praise everytime they brought the right item back from the many on their board. JUST a thing i saw.. never put it into practis myself but maybe worth a try.

As well do get a babysitter for like even 3 hours to get to the movie theater will do you a WORLD of good. I hope things brighten up for you saffymum. all the best

[saffymum]

Thanks for your posts everyone. I am going to take him to the HV on Wednesday for some advice and ideas. Thinkstoomuch, I've swiched to Rocks organic juice cordial which has not preservatives or sweetners and we are watching what else he eats, I'm also giving him a great herbal tea from South Africa called Rooibos, you can get it in the supermarkets its low in tanins and has no caffiene. He seems to take off like a rocket when he eats crisps so I am going to stop those (if DH will work with me on this it would be great!) The video idea is a good one Dogbety, because he will probably act like an angel when we got to the HV and make me look like a hypochondriac! I am going to swop my work hours to 8:30-5 Livysmum so that I can take him to the park after nursery to run around for 30 mins each day before we go home and then I can put the tea on in peace! Feeling a bit better now that I have got a bit of a plan of action. Thanks for your help.