I have changed my name for this. I have been married for 7 years and have 2 lovely kids.
A year before I met my DH I was down town with some friends and a guy I vaguely knew (he was a mate of a guy I dated briefly) came to talk to me.
To cut a long story short. I was extremely drunk that night and the guy offered to buy me a drink which he did. As soon as I drank the drink I felt weird a bit like when You have an epidural (totally numb), obv not that bad because I could still walk (Just about).
He asked me back to his place and said he was having a party as he had Just bought a Karoekee (sp?) machine and a few mates and their gf's were turning up.
I went back to his place but the journey in the taxi was very vague. In his house I remember him giving me a glass of wine and he was singing on the karoakee machine. No one else was there and he kept saying they were on their way.
Shortly after, I felt quite sick and grabbed my bag and proceeded towards the door. As I went to open it he dragged me to his bedroom (it was on the ground floor) and tore my clothes off in an aggressive manner.
I don't want to go into too much detail but you can imagine what happened. This bit is embarrassing but, he couldn't get IT up (iukwim) but still kept trying. He was very aggressive. He eventually rolled over and went to sleep, Everything was a bit vague and I felt helpless and weak. I seriously, on my kids life could not move. I remember waking up and it was light, I was naked and quickly got up grabbed my clothes and ran out, dressing outside. He came out after me and was as nice as pie and asked me if I was ok and if I wanted a lift home .
I am sorry this post is so bloody long but this incident happened about 8 years ago, and until now I had sort of forgotten about it, obviously not because I can't stop thinking about what happened. It is making me depressed and I feel guilty. To make matters worse, my DH has no idea about the incident and I have totally gone off sex and can't stand him touching me. I keep making excuses like, I am tired tonight, got a headache, busy etc etc.
Two questions
1/ From what I have described, even though he couldn't perform, Is that still Rape? Or is it only when a man penetrates a woman? Sorry but I am trying to convince myself it wasn't rape. I don't know.
2/ What shall I do about this past nightmare? Why can't I just forget about it? I can't understand why I am thinking about this after 8 years.
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Mental health
is this the 'r' word? (V. long)
16 replies
RosieAndJim · 24/01/2007 19:31
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