Motherhood not as joyful as advertised!

[noneatall007]

I wondered if I'm the only 1 who didnt get any of the 'joy' etc on birth of child, as promised in those annoying magazines I was given about pregnancy? I was depressed in pregnancy, not just about getting fatter and more invisible every day [the 1 time in your life you need to get drunk & you cant] but about having a girl; I expected this to dissapear when I 1st saw the baby, to get that 'rush of love' I keep reading about from all the smug celebrity mothers, but nothing.
2 months on, still nothing, except regret - Will I ever actually like my child, and why does no-one warn you it could be like this, instead of promising joy elation and fullfillment?!

It seems its taboo to feel any different [I tried to chat on the Huggies forum but was told the topic was 'inapropriate'] I've tried prozac, no change. Surely I cant be the only woman who doesnt like her baby?!!

[NotQuiteCockney]

There have been other threads about this lately, I'll see if I can find one for you.

This certainly isn't a taboo subject here, anyway! WTF are the Huggies lot on?!?

I didn't mind pregnancy, but it took me quite a while to start enjoying DS1 when I had him.

Any chance you are suffering from PND?

[NotQuiteCockney]

Here

I couldn't find the one I was thinking of, but if you search for threads with "enjoying" in the title, you'll find quite a few about not enjoying being a mum.

[iwouldgoouttonight]

Hi - you're certainly not the only one - as the others have said there are loads of people on here who feel/felt exactly the same. I was also told by friends that I'd get a 'rush of love and joy' - my partner got it but I didn't - I just wondered whether I'd made the biggest mistake of my life! I think with some people it takes time to grow to love their baby - when they're only a couple of months old and doing nothing but crying and pooing everywhere its hard to feel anything other than completely knackered! I found once my baby started to smile and become more interactive, responding to singing, grinning when they see you, etc it got much better. My baby is 4.5 months now and, although I still don't have that 'rush', I love him more each day and I'm definitely glad he's here.

I can't believe the Huggies website! If anyone says they have found motherhood all perfect with no ups and downs along the way they must be lying!

Have you found any mother and baby groups - swimming, baby massage, coffee mornings, etc. I found it really helps to get out of the house and do an activity with your baby - you get a bit of adult company and it helps you to bond with your baby.

It will get better!

[bakedpotato]

Hey, noneatall, I had an experience very similar to the one you describe, and I turned out to have PND. I believe that if you are struggling to find any enjoyment, you should consider speaking to your HV/GP.
Of course having a tiny baby is hard and tedious and a grind, but if there are no moments of joy in there, if all you are feeling is regret, I'd say there's a possibility you might be depressed. Have you done the Edinburgh test?

[NotQuiteCockney]

Aha! Found the thread that yours reminded me of: here!