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Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

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Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

Mental health

He won't stop crying and I don't want him anymore.

150 replies

2Babies0Bumps · 04/10/2006 12:27

My 4 week old for the last week just screams all day long and I am not exagerating. It is constant and it is pushing me to the edge.
I already have a toddler to contend with.
Both pregs were planned and wanted.
If someone was to come and take him, I wouldn't care.
Right now he is screaming unconsolably and I just want to walk out the door with my firstborn and never come back.
Please help me.
I can't be bothered to change my name as you can all see.

OP posts:

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BudaBeast · 04/10/2006 12:29

Oh sweetheart - you poor thing.

Don't want to be patronising but presumably you have tried all the obvious things? Is it colick?

Have you anyone to call to come over? Could your DH come home?

foxinsocks · 04/10/2006 12:30

have you taken him to the GP to be checked out (just to be sure)?

I had screamy babies and it is indeed hell. Have you got a partner who can take him off your hands at some point during the day?

jollymum · 04/10/2006 12:30

Hi, been there, done that. It's horrible, isn't it? Have you got anyone to call and come over? Can you get out in the car and maybe he will stop? We've all been there and you probably and tired too.If it all gets too much, shut the door and walk away for a minute. Go in the garden, deep breathe and scream!!!! He's not being mean, he's a loud little baby and you're his mum. It's so hard with a newborn and a toddler and if it isn't going good, you feel lousy. Hugs on the way

BudaBeast · 04/10/2006 12:30

Does he stop if you pick him up? Is his tummy hard? Is he pooing regularly? Is is BF or FF?

alittleBITEshy · 04/10/2006 12:31

oh Sweetheart!
Have a hug.

I have no advie as I'm still on number 1, but I know when we have number 2 all this will come flooding back.

I presume you have tried leaving him safely in his cot or pram and just chilling for a few minutes......

moljam · 04/10/2006 12:31

could you put him in pram and go for walk just to get out house?have you spoken to anyone about depression?hv?i suffered badly with my first 2 children and felt like you,i could have given them away,i really couldnt cope.could he have colic?my ds1 had this and screamed the house down 24/7.sorry if ive not really helped .

waterfalls · 04/10/2006 12:31

Have you had him checked out with the gp for ear infections etc?

throckenholt · 04/10/2006 12:32

can you work out what is the problem ? Is he overtired, or in pain ? Anything maybe a cranial osteopath could help with. Does anything help - like goig for a walk, carrying him in a sling ?

I can understand how you feel - I felt llike that when DS was little and did not sleep at all all day (and I did not have a toddler to deal with as well).

justaphase · 04/10/2006 12:33

Craneal Ostheopathy

foundintranslation · 04/10/2006 12:33

Oh 2B0B. I've been on your bf thread and you have been doing so well.

You are not a bad mother.

cry-sis

Sophiev73 · 04/10/2006 12:33

God I've been there and it's shit. Bad for you to feel like this for too long though. Can you bundle them up and go for a walk to the shop? Then you can't hear him crying so much and you'll feel calmer maybe. My ds2 has just got over colic and it's crap but even if it's not that, just juggling the toddler as well can be awful. Have a cup of tea, put him in a cot take 5 minutes in the loo or wherever. Get a friend round perhaps? Sorry if this isn't a lot of use, but I want you to know it's fine, not many people haven't been there I expect... for you.

foundintranslation · 04/10/2006 12:34

have you got a sling?

Sophiev73 · 04/10/2006 12:35

Maybe tea in the loo not so hygienic...

foundintranslation · 04/10/2006 12:37

Yes, make yourself a cup of tea. If you're like me you'll need to wait a bit for it to cool down to drinking temp. Try comforting him in this time, and if it doesn't work you know you've got a few mins ahead of you to drink your tea and get your head together again.

sugarfree · 04/10/2006 12:37

I remember seriously not liking Ds3 for quite some time when he was newborn.I think most of us have moments,days or weeks on end feeling like it.You're not alone.
Keep posting.

QuootieSpookypie · 04/10/2006 12:38

((hugs)) is anyone around to take him for a little while? Give you a break? ((hugs))

2Babies0Bumps · 04/10/2006 12:40

ds1 had colic but it was for about 4 hours per day. this screaming is most of the day and i do think it is to do with wind as he farts a lot, quite loudly. i didnt think colic could go on all day?
sometimes if i pick him up etc he stops, other times he wont and thats when i feel like 'if you dont even stop when i try and help, im going'
i cant drive (total idiot- didnt try hard enough at the time and now cant afford lessons) so feel imprisoned with them.
ds1 has a kip each day so we all went upstairs and eventually ds2 woke him up.
i was lying in bed, praying they would both stay asleep.
he is bf which as most of you know i am struggling with anyway as i dont seem to satisfy him.

OP posts:

lemonaid · 04/10/2006 12:42

Whereabouts are you? Do you have anyone who could take him for a couple of hours just to give you a break? What about another Mumsnetter?

I agree with other suggestions here

take him to GP to get checked out
take yourself to the GP and ask for help
look into cranial osteopathy. It works for a lot of babies and you have nothing to lose.

On top of those, I found Harvey Karp's Happiest Baby On The Block DVD helpful with DS (there is a book too, but in a frazzled and hormonal state I found the DVD much much much easier to follow).

foxinsocks · 04/10/2006 12:43

it really is worth taking him to the GP - even if it means it's just one thing you can tick off your list for causing the crying.

2Babies0Bumps · 04/10/2006 12:43

may i add, not praying they would never wake up.
christ, just read that back, it spunds awful!!
i love them more than anything, they are the centre of my universe. i didnt go thru all that pain for nowt!

OP posts:

throckenholt · 04/10/2006 12:44

have your tried white noise ? Eg a readio out of tune, or the hoover ? A friends baby was screaming like mad - we put on the hoover (a hand held one that one of the kids happened to be playing with) - and he quietened down immediately - and fell asleep with in minutes.

Status Quo used to be the only thing that would calm down DS1 - no idea how I worked that out though - it is all a blur

2Babies0Bumps · 04/10/2006 12:46

i hope i dont have pnd again. i had it the first time.
with ds1 i had feelings of wanting to throw him out the window or just shut him up for a few mins by whatever means necessary.
his time i want to leave.
it sounds like a worse type of depression now ive typed the two out.

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mandymac · 04/10/2006 12:46

Oh poor you!!!! I remember how hard this was just with one. I had a few weeks (If memory serves, at about 4-6 weeks or so) where I cried every time DH went to work and then rang my mum and cried because I was scared of DD, who wouldn't stop crying. I used to force myself to get out the house and at least this broke up the day and made the time until DH got home go faster. Have tried one of those electric swings? Some people thing they are the devils work, but someone lent me one and it was a goodsend. It used to quiet DD down and even rock her to sleep when I couldn't. Might be worth a try.

If it helps I don't think DD stayed at this stage for more than a couple of weeks - hang on in there.

puddle · 04/10/2006 12:50

have you tried putting him in a sling and having him close to you all day?

Also please try cranial osteopathy - lots of places do free checks for newborns down where I live. My ds was very unsettled for the first few weeks of his life after a difficult birth and it really helped.

lemonaid · 04/10/2006 12:51

If you had PND last time with a relatively easy baby, it's no surprise if you're headed that was again with a very high-needs baby. Please do go to the GP sooner rather than later.

I agree that a swing was a godsend with DS and saved my sanity (the week after we'd got it virtually everyone I spoke to on the phone said "you sound so much happier").

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