Wanna cry....

[Flamesparrow]

I am getting so angry with myself because of it!!!

I have been really happy for the last few weeks. My life finally seems settled, and I am happy with who I am, what I've got etc.

Now today, after a good morning, I have suddenly dropped right down. I don't want to do anything with my children, I just want them to go away and leave me alone.

I want to sit and cry. I want to run away and have a glass (or bottle) of wine and laugh lots. I want to sleep.

Any or all of the above.

I get scared when I feel like this because of depression history. I know that now I am just feeling low, but I worry that it will continue into more.

I normally go out in this kind of mood, but my mum is out, Psychomum is on a ballet night and has 10,000 children at her house right now, and I don't really have many other friends that i can turn to like this.

DH won't be home for 2 1/2 hours.

There's nothing anyone can say really, just needed to write it out.

[IdrisTheDragon]

As a depression sufferer, I know a bit of how you are feeling.

Ups and downs are normal and one down doesn't mean that you are necessarily going to have a big down, if that makes sense.

I have to go and do work now (grrr) but am thinking of you.

[SoupDragon]

Don't get angry with yourself about it. Motherhood is relentless. No matter how happy you are with it and with your life, it's tiring, bloody hard work. Feeling like this is natural - provided it's only occasionally and you don't sink further.

You sound like you need a night out TBH. A night being someone other than Mummy, to run away and have that wine.

[southeastastra]

hope you feel better soon, could you be coming down with something physical though? i feel really ill at the moment (sore throat) and that's making me feel down.

[Flamesparrow]

DC have both got a cold, and DH is just at the end of it, so I am probably round the edges of it too.

I got to have time out last week, but I think I got myself overtired because of it, and then a week of constant nurse/mummy duty has ground me down.

I was meant to be going to see Spamalot tomorrow night, but its all fallen through, and I think that's getting to me too.

This thread is making me think it through more logically though - it is making me see that it is more situational blues than depression iyswim

[SoupDragon]

I always feel miserable when plans fall through like that. Can you find something else to look forward to instead?

[Flamesparrow]

I'm getting disturbingly enthusiastic about shopping for flapjack ingredients!!!

Thinkin' dinner... glass of wine.. flapjack or two...

Feeling lots better from just having written stuff down. DD's all excited because I've told her she can watch Diego in a minute, and DS is giving me snotty cuddles saying Mama (which is actually him sucking his sore gums but it still sounds nice )

[MerlinsBeard]

((((((flame)))))) I;m so sorry heres me going on and on and u helping when u feel rubbish yourself.

Is there anything you can do this afternoon which would mean u got some frsh air? Gets u out of the house and supervising DD will stop your mind being so active.

Can u lock urself in the loo for a few mins to go and cry?

[Flamesparrow]

Once again - don't be a silly bint! It really is just this afternoon that this has come on - have been fine all the time I've been talking to you.

Emrys is now sat by my feet saying "Mamamamamama" and grinning at me... starting to wonder if it is teeth or he really has found a new sound. (I'm not soppy enough to think that he's actually saying it to me yet)

[MerlinsBeard]

sorry but am really lol @ bint.

Thanks

wish i was in a better position to help

I can help with the night out thing though. If you can get here b4 8:30 we are off to karaoke

[Mummymonster]

As a person prone to depression and all the stuff you mentioned I would like to prescrbe

A REALLY BIG HUG

Take one whenever needed, no expiry date and no contraidications.

Symptoms will pass. Thanks to all MNrs who have passed one to me during simillar moments

[Flamesparrow]

Why do I think it'll take more than 3 1/2 hours to get to you???

Oh, my sister is talking about buying me a ticket to see the show when it opens proper ( costs lots)... a night out in the theatre, a train journey all by myself. Am I odd in thinking all that time just by myself sounds like heaven???

[MerlinsBeard]

what show? (if i disappear i am still textable - just that ds2 wil have woken and want his tea)

[Flamesparrow]

Spamalot (more of me whinging in the middle of the thread )

[Flamesparrow]

Thankyou Mummymonster. I didn't spot you to start with I saw the letters and read it as being MoM

[mummyhill]

Have a ((((Flamesparrow))))

I think I would feel quite down if I was missing what looks like a great play too.

[calebsmummy]

Hugs from me too Flame and far flung ones to MoM.

You have coped with so much recently, it's no wonder you are feeling down. You have my number, call me if you need to...both of you (she says looking sternly at MoM )

Flame, you must come and see me soon. x

[Flamesparrow]

Poor MoM gets so many stern looks!!

Much better today. Thankyou for all the hugs. Boy is taking over with DS tonight (downstairs n everything) so I can get a proper night's sleep.

[MerlinsBeard]

How are you this evening Flame? phone playing silly beggars and freezing when i send a msg

[Flamesparrow]

I'm much better - came down with a cold, which I think was the cause of all that