Old demons coming back to haunt me

[naswm]

Cant go in to details. But due to circumstances, things that caused me lots of problems in the past have recenlty come back to the surface again (unavoidable unfortunately) and will be around for a while yet. I cant let this drag me down. I really cant. But it is so hard. I seem to be turning back to the nervous wreck I was 10 years ago. How can I deal with this and keep it out of my mind?? Just keep crying today - which, those who know me, would know that is SO unlike me

[Mercy]

Sorry to hear this naswm, haven't really got any advice but didn't want your post to go unnoticed.

[Macdog]

have you tried phoning samaritans or other similar helpline, just to talk it out with someone. it helps me to get it out instead of bottling it up. these lines are anonymous and no-one will judge you
why not try asking your gp for counselling referral?
these are things that have helped me in the past.
you have come far in 10 years, you are a stronger person now than you were then, because you got through it and survived
((hugs))

[naswm]

Thanks you two. Have had a very bad day. Feeling VERY stressed and anxious. And have found myself breaking down in tears in all sorts of places. Really struggling to get thrrough today.

Thanks again for posting.

PS I am having counselling atm btw, which is helping, but it's just this damn business hanging over me which is doing me in. thought I was coping with it all so well - until the middle of last night. But now I just want to curl up with my duvet and cry

[FatThighs]

can you go back to your gp?

I think you need to tell someone how you are feeling. Often going to get the help is the hardest step - esp. if you are depressed (which judging by what you have said you certainly are.) I think you need more than whatever help you are getting at the moment.

You often mention 'circumstances that have come to the surface again' it sounds as if this is the thing you really need to address - what ever way you can.

much love

[naswm]

FatThighs - thanks for posting. I am having counselling but that is one hour a week. I am dealing with it all, but there is so much to deal with that it is taking a long time. And as I said, things which caused me lots of trouble in the past (had a breakdown over it all at the time) are hovering around again atm. And there is nothing I can do about it. I just need to cope with it.

My GP is hopeless btw - told me that ADs would not help me, I just need to get used to the unfortunate amount of stress in my life - and to 'move on' from the nasty things in the past

[kokeshi]

Hi naswm,
I noticed your name and didn't want to pass over it. So sorry you're feeling like this. If your GP won't prescribe you anything and you are feeling that bad, then change doctors. Quite often couselling makes things worse before they get better and whatever else is hanging over you at the moment won't be helping matters. Seriously, I wouldn't dismiss ADs out of hand, they definitely have their place. I was on them for a while and for me, they were absolutely what I needed.

Email me if you want to offload about anything...

k0keshi at hotmail dot com (that's a zero between the ks)

Thinking of you x

[naswm]

thanks kokeshi - that is v kind. V stressed atm - DS sitting next to me winding me up

[kokeshi]

Do you have something with you to help with DS?

[kokeshi]

sorry, I meant someone, a partner...

[kokeshi]

Hey FioFio, thanks so much again xxxx

[naswm]

Sorry, I was being v unfair towards DS1 - he was only winding me up because I was ignoring him and he wanted my company . (No, I am alone with them, my H doeasnt get home from work until at least 9pm).

FioFio - I feel like I am doing all I can to help mylsef - I take ST John's Wort and countless other herbal things, plus homeopathic remedies too. And I am seeing a counsellor. I am getting more exeercise and tryijng to get more sleep (altho I dont sleep well, IYKWIM), I am also eating more sensibly. In fact my only vices atm are wine, and cigarettes. But I almost need them, IYKWIM.

I've just got to get on with this. I know that. I can only assume i have been more opening emotional recently becuase I am learning (through my counselling) how to rediscover my true emotions.

oh it;'s all such a mess isnt it?

[kokeshi]

Do you think ADs would be worthwhile finding out about naswm? You can only do so much yourself, as somene was saying on the other thread, if it's your brain chemistry that's unbalanced there's only so much you can do yourself. x

[kokeshi]

ooops, repeated myself...

[Pinkchampagne]

Sorry you are struggling so much atm, naswm.

It may be worth you going along to your gp & getting some ADs - they might help to take away that horrible sinking feeling.

Glad you are having counselling. I found counselling helped me loads.

Do you have some good friends that you feel you could confide in?
Getting things off your chest can help a lot.

[naswm]

I dont knwo what I am doing atm. I try hard top protect myfriends. And hide behind certains thins. Eg the effects of alcohiol

Need to find a better awy to deal with this

[poppiesinaline]

so so sorry you are feeling so bad today. >

[kokeshi]

You sound so sad naswm.

[FatThighs]

I think from what you described you are a good candidate for AD (look at me self appointed internet doctor!!!) But I do think they will help you out o this. You meet the criteria they use for determining the level of depression and you sound moderately depressed - ask him/her.

Of course may be a progressive anti anti-depressants doctor but I think these drugs work miracles.

My opinion.

[naswm]

Thanks. I am . All I keep doing is criing. I'll be okay tho. I always am. I have to be. I am the strong one. I ahve to be.

[ReluctantPubCleaner]

BUMP