Skip to main content
Skip to main navigation
Skip to talk navigation

Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

1 2 3

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

Mental health

Money Problems

58 replies

DumbledoresGirl · 27/09/2006 09:34

Well, it is some time since I have been here, but after a few weeks of hell, I have succumbed.

Dh and I are in such financial straits at the moment. Normally we lurch from month to month just about breaking even, sometimes going overdrawn and putting things on the credit card to pay off the next month, but mainly getting by. this itself has been depressing because we only manage to get by by not having the usual luxuries that many people take for granted - days out, takeaways, clothes (except for what is desperately needed).

But now we are in a worse state than ever before. We had a huge car repari bill this week (£1500) and that has effectively left us with nothing to spend for the next 4 weeks. But I still have to feed the children and there are bound to be payments that have to be made. I am in despair.

I don't need to be told how to budget things or buy cheaply - regretably, I live that life all the time. I just wanted to off load here as I am so anxious about it and have no-one else I can talk to.

OP posts:

Report

desperateSCOUSEwife · 27/09/2006 09:37

dg good to see you

hey two old sayings come to mind

the only way is up

and things can only get better

wow they are songs too

but they are true sayings

you will soon land back on your feet
xxx

expatinscotland · 27/09/2006 09:38

Vent away, DG!

Your 'situation' is so much the status quo for me I barely even notice it anymore.

DumbledoresGirl · 27/09/2006 09:46

But what if things don't get better? Dh had a "big boss man" come to his office yesterday - he works for an American company and it was some young hot shot from America - and the whole office is under threat of closure/being moved to somewhere in Europe, which would mean dh loses his job - for the third time in as many years. I can't stand the way dh's career is always so fragile. I feel so helpless and anxious and this is not doing anything for my physical health.

I know I should consider myself lucky because by most people's standards, dh and I are quite fortunate, but if we have literally no moey to buy anything over the next 4 weeks, I am not really that fortunate am I? How do you live like this year in year out Expat?

OP posts:

Bugsy2 · 27/09/2006 09:59

So sorry things are bad DG. Have you got anything you could flog on ebay, just to get a bit of cash coming in. I did a table top sale at the kids school this weekend & made a profit of £41, for selling toys & household stuff I didn't want any more.

expatinscotland · 27/09/2006 10:05

I live under the assumption that things will never get better and just get on w/it.

I've long gotten over it.

I have long given in that I will ALWAYS be skint and struggling and take comfort in the other blessings in my life.

TopBanana · 27/09/2006 10:14

I'm not sure if it will be of any help to you but you can get crisis loans if you need help with basic living expenses.
Hope everything works out for you.

naswm · 27/09/2006 10:17

DG You know you can always talk to me. I am available at the end of a phone, email, msn etc etc I am here.

Re the money situation - what about seeing if you can freeze your mortgage payments for a month or two (to get over the current problems brought about by the car)?

DumbledoresGirl · 27/09/2006 10:18

TB thanks for the link. There is nothing the government would give the likes of dh and I!

Expat - I am a bit lost for words. I am not sure if you are telling me to count my blessings....

Bugsy - yes I am strongly considering doing the same as you. I even caught myself thinking about some wedding presents we have and have never used and wondering if dh would mind if I flogged them. I have never managed to sell a thing on ebay yet, but I might try here on Mumsnet to test the waters.

OP posts:

expatinscotland · 27/09/2006 10:19

I'm not telling you to do anything. Just stating that for me, this is how it's been for many years, and so I have grown to accept it as my lot in life and am grateful that it's only money problems I've got.

That may not work for you, but it wasn't given as advice.

DumbledoresGirl · 27/09/2006 10:22

naswm - re freezing mortgage payments - yes that is a thought. We wouldn't suffer a financial penalty if we did that, would we? The thing is, everything I need to buy for the next 4 weeks I will put on my credit card - that will be at least £400 for food, plus I know I have a vet and dentist bill coming up, plus whatever else life throws at us for the next month. We won't starve or anything. but then, the credit card has to be paid next month (I won't live with a permanent debt) so that will give us less money overall next month too. Then it is November and the madness of Christmas begins....It is just an endless cycle I can't break free of. I wish i could go back to work, but I don't know what job I could get and none would be financially worthwhile until ds3 is at school...

OP posts:

DumbledoresGirl · 27/09/2006 10:24

break free from

I may be penniless, but I have my grammar...

Sorry Expat, not wanting to fall out with my DT hater.

OP posts:

naswm · 27/09/2006 10:28

DG no idea re financial penalty - but worth looking in to. We did it once. Re credit cards - you may have to accept that you cant pay it all off next month. Most of us dont, I am sure. Those days are long gone (for us, anyway).

(I wont keep saying this, but if you want to chat - you know where I am. I did nudge you this morning (when I wanted a chat talk) but you implied you shouldnt be online and then disappeared!)

Bugsy2 · 27/09/2006 10:30

Could you extend the term or your mortgage? That way you would pay a smaller sum each month.

The table top sale was fantastic, I could not believe that people would buy old toys & household items. In the past I've given this stuff to the charity shop - no more I tell you!!!

With regard to the vets bill coming up, do you have a blue cross centre of animal sanctury near you. These organisations will often treat animals for a donation.

foxinsocks · 27/09/2006 10:31

do you live in a city or large town? could you walk people's dogs (always people looking for that round here!), do someone's ironing, do some babysitting once dh comes home?

am I right in remembering that you did some sort of teaching before (apologies if I have you completely wrong)? there's always tutoring or helping foreigners with their English?

expatinscotland · 27/09/2006 10:31

Here is a source of good cheer, DG!

You'll get to find out ALL about David Tennant tonight on BBC, as he is in 'Who Do You Think You Are?'

With his real accent.

doobydoo · 27/09/2006 10:32

God poor you I know what a nightmare this is.reallyAnd yes you can count your blessings etc and know that the 'important'things are ok like the kids etc BUT that does not help the situation when you have 4 weeks and no money.It's paralysing isn't it?and can be impossible to see it being sorted.
My dp has an unfortunate job history...redundancies,mad bosses etc.He is very clever..masters degree etc and is honest and reliable.And it makes me SICK when isee people[and people i know]who have really cushy jobs that pay 4 times what my dp gets for about 1%of the work!.
We have ,apparently,been left a few quid from a relative and to be honest the relief is huge.We will pay off bills and then start again.I feel very lucky.We have never had any money in reserve and have lived hand to mouth and if this new job goes pearshaped we will again.
I have sold stuff in shops as well..though ebay is a good idea.But if you need the money now it's not so good.
The consumer credit counselling service is also really helpful.
I t is very hard for you and your dp.I kinow my dp used to go to work[driving long distances]and stay away 2 or more nights a week and we had no money..that is demoralising isn't it.and you wonder why you bother.
I get anxious as well because we are in rental property and dp is 42 and i am 37..so not getting any younger!
I know the important stuff is fine.and i know that if that changed all other problems would pale into insignificance.BUT i also know that you still need money to get the basics.
Sorry for the lenght of this..it just really struck a chord and i really feel for you.
I hope you can get something sorted.

Sorry for the length of this it just really struck a cord

DumbledoresGirl · 27/09/2006 10:33

I know you want to talk naswm. I know I am letting you down.

I suppose our situation is maybe not as bad as I think as I would sooner run down the street naked than not pay off my credit card bill each month. I just feel that if ever I stopped paying off the credit card, I would be on a permanent slide downwards. You see, I know full well that our financial situation is not going to get easier. There is no sign of dh getting a pay rise; if I worked, all my money would go on childcare and associated costs; we are not going to win the lottery. So I know I cannot let a credit card bill mount up as there is never going to be a time when we will have a couple of thousand spare (or whatever it was) to pay it off.

OP posts:

DumbledoresGirl · 27/09/2006 10:34

Expat, I know. No-one decide they want to ring DG tonight from 9-10 please! (naswm, that means you!)

OP posts:

tinytitch · 27/09/2006 10:35

hi, i am in a similar situation to you at moment - never seems to get any better. We changed our mortgage repayment term from 25 to 35 years it made quite a difference to our payments. We are on a repayment mortgage at momement so were also told we could switch to interest only which would reduce it further. It did'nt cost us anything to switch the length of the term and will not cost us when we switch back to 25 years. When i asked about a payment break they said i could only do it for a couple of months and then they want the money back straight away as well as resuming your payments.
This was only mean't to be a temporary measure for us but i have a feeling that it will be a while before we go back to the 25 year payments.

DumbledoresGirl · 27/09/2006 10:40

doobydoo - thanks for posting so feelingly. We are similar in that my dh also has a degree, a masters degree, a diploma in marketing, blah, blah, blah, but because he works in heavy industry, his job is always in a precarious state. No-one imagine that Britain is doing OK on the manufacturing front. I can assure you, that British heavy industries are a) owned by the Americans and b) continuosly struggling against foreign competitors and usually losing the fight.

Sorry, just had to get that off my chest.

Yes, I was a teacher but I loathe the thought of teaching again. I swing continously from thinking "I will never go into a classroom ever again" - teaching is in a pretty appalling state too IMO - to thinking "I will have to grit my teeth and go back to teaching just to get the moeny in". Now, tell me honestly, do you want your children taught by someone who is only in the job for the money? No, neither do I.

OP posts:

naswm · 27/09/2006 10:42

Dont worry DG I wont bother you

DumbledoresGirl · 27/09/2006 10:42

What is that supposed to mean naswm?

OP posts:

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Email address

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

maycontainstress · 27/09/2006 11:06

DG I empathise. I just wanted to say that I've always managed to make at least the grocery money from doing boot sales. The stall itself costs a fiver and people will buy all sorts. Its not much help, I know, but its something you can all do as a family (if not too cold or indoors).

We're doing one in the next fortnight, the kids are flogging their old toys and I'm shifting everything from my loft bar the Christmas Tree.

Good luck.

Mercy · 27/09/2006 12:58

DG, sorry to hear you are so down atm .

I come from a poor but educated family and am now pretty much in the same situation as when I was growing up. I know my parents whole lives were dominated by money worries and remember how it affected them. Fortunately my mum is a strong woman and somehow just kept on going, or at least that's how it came across to me.

Haven't got any really got any advice but just wanted to let you know I do sympathise. Agree with others though re selling off as much as you can just to get you through the next few weeks.

As for work, would you consider becoming a Teaching Assistant when ds3 is older?

Earlybird · 27/09/2006 13:01

What about doing some tutoring for some extra money?

Flip

1 2 3

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.