I read and posted (with a diff name)on the thread that was started about statistics of unreported rape (at least, thats what the OP was about).
I posted things that were relevant to the OP but which i hadn't properly admitted to before. Now all i seem to be doing is remembering things from my childhood. it was a pretty shitty one but i used to get through by my own coping mechanisms of not eating and self harm.
I know neither of those are healthy strategies and i haven't harmed myself for a very long time (aside from one incident last year) BUT since i have been thinking things through all the feelings i used to have have come back.
All the feelings that if i was thin then nothing would hurt me, that if i cut out that bad part then people will like me. Its cionfusing me. On one hand i KNOW that thats not how a normal person should feel but then on the other hand i know that when i was thin i was happier albeit in a different life to that which i have now.(no children/dp/financial worries etc)
I have been stuck in the binge purge cycle of eating since ds2 was born and have probably been building up to this for a while but i am just stuck tonight and short of slapping myself in the face and telling myself to grow up i really don;t know what to do.
sorry this is long, i think i just needed to get it out, didn;t know where else to go with it
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Mental health
some old feelings have come back and i don't know how to stop them
23 replies
MerlinsBeard · 22/09/2006 21:51
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