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Mental health

How do you know if you are ready to work?

7 replies

Imliketotallyummm · 28/08/2014 13:05

I've had depression and anxiety on and off for years. I'm currently taking Sertraline which is helping a little with the anxiety. However, recently things have been very stressful at work - on my own in the office for 2 weeks, for 4 weeks before that doing the job of a colleague that I knew nothing about as well as my own job..

I've had 2 weeks holiday, but don't feel capable of going back to work, I can't sleep and worry about my work and my performance all the time.

Dh is out of work and, apart from working for 2 months earlier this year he has been out of work since last June. Financially we have hit rock bottom - he receives no JSA due to my earnings (I work 23 hours and get slightly more than minimum wage!). We have debt from previous periods of unemployment (dh has been made redundant 5 times in the past 13 years) and bad credit rating due to defaulting on debt payments since dh lost his job.

My gp has given me a sick note for 2 weeks, but at the moment I don't feel like I'll ever have the confidence to go back. I've lost all my confidence - well I didn't really have any in the first place (maybe due to years of my father putting me down all the time?).

How do I pick myself back up and earn some money? My dad is right in a way; I wasted my school years, have few qualifications, all I can do is type, but the jobs pay so little these days. At the moment I work for an estate agent and I feel I will never be good at the job. I'm good with the customers, but feel like I'll never get to grips with dealing with solicitors etc plus the whole legal implications of Misdescription and what we're actually allowed to say. I'd rather have a job where I sit quietly and type, I know I can do that!

Even if I could afford to retrain I don't know what I could do, I can't go into child minding as we have a dog that is scared of small children and may snap plus I suffer with a phobia of vomiting, which would add to the general anxiety.

I feel like everything is hopeless. We can't sell the house because we wouldn't be able to rent due to low income, poor credit rating and our pets. The mortgage company are on our case all the time, asking us to make a payment, but we can't afford to.

Sorry for this long post. Thanks for reading if you got this far!

I don't even know what I'm hoping for by posting this. I just don't know how to continue.

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SilverStars · 28/08/2014 16:26

Why not look at other jobs that are admin/typing to apply for. May take a while to get one, but when you get one can boost your confidence. Receptionist/secretarial type work - but not in estate agency. Returning to work to get a good reference, whilst moving to a job that you want to do?

You can ask your gp for a fit note rather than signing you off to help - so it can say only work 3 out of 5 days for 2 weeks or whatever you agree with gp - a phased return to help you go back.

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SilverStars · 28/08/2014 16:29

If your mortgage company is contacting you have you explained your situation? They are much happier when people contact them. As there can be difficult choices to face if you keep defaulting . You can take an official payment holiday ( on some mortgages), you can extend term or mortgage. You can switch to interest only etc to make it easier.

Maybe getting debt advice could help? CAB?

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Imliketotallyummm · 28/08/2014 16:48

We have kept the mortgage company informed from the beginning. We took 3 months holiday after using up our overpayments worth 3 months. They will not let us go interest only.

I have looked at what jobs are available locally (very little), but just don't feel I would be a good choice for anyone at the moment.

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fluffybunnies246 · 28/08/2014 20:38

Gosh ummm what a lot of stress you have at the moment. If you didn't have all the other non work related stress (husband not working, debt issues, worry about housing) do you think you'd enjoy your job more? With the solicitors etc...is that your lack of confidence talking? Do you think that with experience you will get the hang of it? I was scared of solicitors until my mate became one and then I realised that they weren't all that special after all Grin

Have you spoken to Stepchange about your debts? My husband had massive debts and they were really helpful (he's paid them off now). They told him what to worry about and what not to and what to prioritise, liaised with banks etc and helped organise paying them off.

You talk about you 'picking yourself back up' but how is dh getting on with the job search? As it sounds like, due to your situation, that he basically needs to be taking ANYTHING that brings in some cash. Bar drug dealing and prostitution obviously.

Also- are you claiming any benefits that you might be entitled to e.g. tax credits, council tax benefit (not just the single adult subsidy)? And can't DH get contribution based JSA if he has been working during the past 2 years?

I do hope things ease up soon- you are having a hard time of it.

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Imliketotallyummm · 28/08/2014 21:11

Thanks Smile Dh is applying for jobs, but it' s been very quiet during the summer holidays.

We are claiming benefits, we get some tax credits and help with council tax. He is claiming jsa but they are paying it towards our mortgage interest (aka housing benefit) or so they say - nearly 6 weeks since he lost the job again and the mortgage company haven't seen a penny yet, due to the job centre getting things wrong, then the form we sent in got lost. .

It probably is my lack of confidence talking, but I hate feeling inadequate, as if I'm not doing a good job.

Also my colleague is ill a lot so I often have to do extra hours and 2 jobs at once.

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Imliketotallyummm · 28/08/2014 21:14

we haven't spoken to stepchange but have communicated with the companies we owe money to and arranged low monthly payments and interest has been frozen. At the moment we are struggling with day to day costs, we can't begin to pay off any debt until dh is working.

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CommonBurdock · 29/08/2014 12:21

It's not hopeless OP. If you like typing that gives you lots of possible job options: secretary, transcriptionist or typist working from home... You could start by going into a temp agency and asking what the requirements are, then see about filling any skills gaps you might have. There should be some free courses somewhere...

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