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Mental health

Desperate for help

4 replies

ilovechops · 28/08/2014 09:59

I was going to name change for this but couldn't work out how to.

So my brother (2yrs older than me and mid 30s) has a long history of alcohol abuse and mental illness. He has been diagnosed as Bipolar type 2 and receives treatment in the form of drugs for this. They tend to stabilise him but haven't helped with depression/alcohol issue and the drugs don't work when he drinks (a lot). He lives with my parents and I live with my DH, DD and DC2 on the way (currently pregnant). We live 200 miles away.

I am not involved in the day to day life of my brother, never have been since leaving home really as we aren't close and are very different people BUT at times I have been more involved in his care. When I lived closer to home at uni I saw the devastating effect his drinking and illness had on my parents on a regular basis.

My parents are late 60s and although solid in their marriage they are falling to pieces caring for him. Last night he was arrested as was being aggressive and abusive towards my parents and my mum called the police (this has never happened before).

My mum has tried for years and years to seek help for THEM in the form of support (my brother generally flits between thinking he has a problem and not thinking he has) that's common with mental illness I am sure but he won't seek or accept help other than that of the GP and medicine. He saw a pysychiatrist for years who in the end said he couldn't help him and since that he will not accept any additional support (mental health worker etc). My parents need day to day support in caring for him, by that I mean someone medically trained in this who will come to their house and spend time with him talking and relieve the strain from them. Every time they try to go away from their house for a weekend my brother drinks to extreme and ends up either in A&E or the police station like last night so they have to cancel their trip. It is utterly crap for all involved.

I know as a sister I am no support really other than the occasional phone call and visit, I feel guilt about this but also am not willing to allow him into my (otherwise happy) life as he is (i feel) a danger to us especially with DD so young and I pregnant. I am however a support to my parents where I can be and want to help them find (trained) support.

Can anyone help on who I can call? He has a case worker in the mental health team who is off sick and no one has replaced them...is there a private company we can use if NHS cut basks are meaning no help (my mum keep being told they have no resources) but it's just dire and I am genuinely concerned someone is going to take their own life if nothing is done to change the ongoing cycle.

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Iwasinamandbunit · 28/08/2014 11:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SilverStars · 28/08/2014 11:26

If his case worker off sick you can and so can he, still contact the mental health team and ask to speak to a duty worker - ie any staff that is in office! Some have a rota, with named staff on duty. If not ask to speak to the manager of his team. Failing that contact Pals for advice/complaint.

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MagpieMama · 28/08/2014 11:46

Your parents are entitled to a carers assessment which will look at what kind of support they are entitled to as your brothers carers. Their GP should be able to arrange it for them.