All that time wasted.

[MrsMinton]

I have just spoken with the kindest women who has just told me I've been really brave to ask for help with my anxiety. They are enrolling me on an online CBT course with telephone support. I've put the phone down and cried and cried because I was so scared to tell anyone how I felt for so long. All that time wasted feeling anxious and upset and pretending to be ok. I've not told anyone other than my H in RL so just wanted to put this somewhere. Hopeful now that I can be me again.

[BucketsnSpades]

Well done. I know nothing about mental health but i just wanted to say to you to keep going. You made the first step so take courage to make sure you follow through and take the second and third steps by accessing this support.

I wish you all the best and will be watching for some updates.

[MrsMinton]

Thank you Buckets for your kind reply. I feel now I have a plan I can do it, if that makes sense? People understanding and not making me feel silly has given me the confidence to see I can get it under control instead of it controlling me.

[MrsMinton]

Thank you for that Iwasinamandbunit. I appreciate you taking the time to post.

[thoughtsbecomethings]

Wishing you good luck in your journey. You are doing the right thing asking for help. I went to talking therapy and use to think before the sessions I hadn't nothing to say .. But I always did, she saw me sob,cry,shout and be silent. It really helps x x c

[catsdogsandbabies]

Mrs Minton who did you ask for help? I am not sure where to look.

[MrsMinton]

Thank you thoughts. I wish I had done this a long time ago.

[MrsMinton]

I went and saw my GP last week cats and she gave me the details of a program called Fear Fighter. I just got so tired of managing all the time and it getting in the way. It's on this link that she directed me to. I'm also taking AD to get me back to level while the CBT gets started. This is the link

www.nhs.uk/Conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/Pages/Self-help-therapies.aspx

There are other sites too.

Are you ok?

[LastingLight]

If there is one thing I regret in my life it is that I didn't seek help for depression years earlier than I did. At 20 I had no idea such a thing existed, I just knew that I went through periods of sadness and low self esteem and I didn't know why. Well done on getting help, I hope things just keep getting better and better for you.

[MrsMinton]

Iwasinamandbunit I didn't know that. I'm glad you got help. Women's Aid were amazing helping my friend in a DV situation.

[MrsMinton]

Thank you Lasting that's really kind.

[MrsMinton]

Ten days of taking Citalopram and I feel much calmer. I hadn't realised how much I cried before, until I've not been crying the last few days. That probably sounds odd! I feel like I can think properly for the first time in ages because my head isn't full of worries and what ifs.
I've had a form off my councillor to fill in. It asses my feelings in the last two weeks, I'm going to fill it in later when the children are in bed. I'm due back at the GPs on Saturday to review my AD and then Monday is my first telephone support. I'm feeling so much more sure about things now. It's such a relief.

[LastingLight]

I'm so glad to hear that. I had been well for a long time before I could look back and really admit to how ill I had been.

[MrsMinton]

Thank you Lastinglight I hope you don't mind me asking but did you have AD or counselling to help? I was so scared of taking the tablets but the side effects have been really mild and the difference I feel is worth it.

[LastingLight]

I had both ad's and counselling, I think that the combination is most effective.

[MrsMinton]

You've been really kind answering thank you. I've looked into going swimming and doing some relaxation exercises too. I'm going to start walking every day next week because school and work start again and I can fit a walk into my routine.

[LastingLight]

Yes, looking after yourself by getting some exercise, sleeping enough and eating healthy is very important. I'm busy learning mindfulness meditation. I don't quite "get" it yet but it's early days and it promises a lot of mental health benefits.

[MrsMinton]

I tried that but while my head was this busy and anxious I know now I couldn't have done it. I hope you find it works for you over time.

[MrsMinton]

Just to update. It's been nearly three weeks since I started my tablets. They have helped so much. Yesterday I drove to the supermarket and shopped and got home before realising it hadn't caused me any anxiety. This is massive for me.

I spoke to my counsellor on Monday for the first time. She was brilliant and although I cried a lot I felt better after talking to her. She said that I have moderate depression and anxiety based on my questionnaire responses. She have me some things to think about and start working on.

The MH board and the support off the people who have replied here have been so welcome and have helped me to see that I'm not a failure, I am poorly and I can get better. Thank you for taking the time to help me.

[WheresTheCoffee]

We'll done MrsMinton, I often think I should have reached out on MN when I was at my lowest, I think you are really brave! I still did find reading the boards helpful, just knowing other people felt the same way was a comfort. I followed a course of CBT myself and found my way to a much happier, more settled time. I hope that it brings you the same on your journey, realising you'd gone shopping without anxiety must have felt wonderful

[MrsMinton]

Thanks WheresTheCoffee, you taking time to reply is so kind. I felt a bit overwhelmed in a good way! I haven't felt brave, I've felt small and lost but I'm feeling that now I can do it. With time and help, I can really do it. I'm glad you've found your settled self now.