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Mental health

How can I help him?

6 replies

PostmanPatsVan · 21/08/2014 07:29

My DH explained a little of how he felt last night and I am lost as to what to do next. He said he has never been happy and wished he was born 50 years before he was as he's much more suited to that time. He can't cope working much more and wants to be reclusive. He sounded so desperate but I don't know what to do to help, he won't seek it as he says it's a waste of time.

I have severe depression and anxiety and I know he has had depression in the past but I didn't know it was and is that bad.

Please help me to help him

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PostmanPatsVan · 21/08/2014 08:31

Needy bump

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Footle · 21/08/2014 08:43

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PostmanPatsVan · 21/08/2014 09:07

He won't see the GP, he feels he will be fobbed off. I'm scared, I don't know what is going to happen.

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Footle · 21/08/2014 09:09

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PostmanPatsVan · 21/08/2014 09:26

I am scared of what's happening next and of what he feels. It feels that everything we had just isn't.

I'm scared of the implications of how it will affect our family and where we go from here.

I'm on shaky grounds with my MH at the moment too, holiday stress and a few other things have made me really wobbly this has hit me hard.

I am so worried for the future

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mismylinford · 21/08/2014 09:45

This time last year i was in your situation... My husband tried to end his life a year ago today. He was saved by the police to talked him down. He was in very dark place. To look at him was like looking at someone who has no soul there was no life in him at all. After hours of talking to him i finally managed to coax him into getting help.
Support is all i can suggest make sure he knows your there for him no matter what. That they can help you just need to fight for it.
And yes my husband was not strong enough to fight so i did it for him i forced him to go and i spoke for him. It was a long wait for coucilin and i even had to get my local mp involved to push forward his referral. He knows how much i care and i take alot of the strain for him.
Im not saying this is easy and everyone can do it its a massive burden for me but its nothing compared to how he must feel.
I would suggest you talk to Mind the mental health charity they gave me lots if advice and gave my hd a crisis plan. Find a way to relax together... Dark room low light .... Physical contact helps like head massage. Calm clean environment.
We have a 4 year old too so that's not easy she's a good tonic most of the time.
My hd had to leave his job too as he just couldn't cope.
Well get there eventually slowly things are improving.
Be strong and be there.
The fear will always be with me that i will loose him to this illness but you have to find i way to make that fear turn into energy to make him carry in and see there is a way out... There has to be.
Depression is a horrible illness and so many suffer alone.

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