hi,
i'm new here, been reading threads on pnd as getting concerned about feeling very crappy off and on, can't decide if i've got pnd or am just (over)reacting to day to day events.....
on the one hand everything looks perfect. i've got a 5 1/2 month old boy, he's healthy, good natured, smiley, i've got a good bond with him and feel pretty confident i'm doing a good job looking after him. i wanted a child so much and my dreams came true. visitors and family are always saying how relaxed and competent i am, what a happy baby he is. i live with my partner, he's a good dad, i'm going back to work in a month two days a week and we're going to share childcare.not much money consequently but enough, there's so much good in my life and as my partner says 'there's nothing wrong, everythings fine'........ but....
there are times when i feel totally overwhelmed by everything i have to do, small tasks seem to defeat me, i'm constantly enormously irritated by my partner and pick fights that then leave me feeling devastated...just about anything can reduce me to tears, this morning not being able to get the lid off a jamjar, i've got aches and pains in my joints, i feel guilty about not being a good enough mum, being a horrible girlfriend, the house not being clean....i worry about things that might happen to my son when he's older, i worry about what would happen if i die, i've begun to avoid seeing other people just feel really stressed and uncomfortable making small talk, putting up a front, i don't know many people well round here..i'm not looking forward to going back to work at all, i've become preoccupied with the thought that i look really unattractive, to the point where it took me ages to get dressed and take baby for routine gp visit yesterday, getting waves of anger and hopelessness and exhaustion....but then i seem to be able to pull it together again and look back and feel a bit stupid.....i'm still looking after baby ok but it's as if all my energy goes into him and i have no resources left.......after big row and breaking down last night my partner is listening and taking me seriously but i don't know what to do, seem to have lost all sense of perspective, can't tell if what i'm feeling is normal or not....if this rings a bell with anyone please let me know...
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Mental health
is this pnd or just normal ?
39 replies
claire7471 · 19/09/2006 10:47
OP posts:
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