am I a negative person? WHY??

[Baysmum]

Have just met a friend in town who Ive not seen for a while and told her we're considering baby number 2. She siad that she found that hard to understand as I'm always telling her how hard it all is being a parent and making it sound awful. I feel really guilty now and also that I must come across as so negative when I thought I did a fairly good job of hiding just how hard I've found it this last year. I was also aware that she doesnt have or like kids much so didnt want to come across as a gushy parent! Should I just pretend that its all a bed of roses or does that just make it harder for the next lot of new mummies?

[lizziemun]

Baysmum,

I myself would not dwell to much on what your freind thinks as you said she doesn't have or want children.

I know that i am sometimes negative about being a mum (and myself) but i would give anything and everything to have a second child have being trying since dd was 10mths got pg after 18mth had m/c in june this year. I know people who know think this a bit mad because of the following.

a) Failed at breast feeding.
b) had borderline pnd
c Failed at weaning, still not a great eater.
d DD didn't sleep through the night until nearly 2yrs now 2yrs 7mths now sleeps from 6.30pm to 7am.
e)Have only felt like i succeeded with Potty training which dd did herslef during the day within 2 week - dry at night about a month later.


I have to say for all my negative feelings i think being a mum is the best job in the world and wouldn't change being sahm for the world.

So go ahead have baby number 2, and enjoy all the good bits and bad.

[divastrop]

take it from me-one child is hard work!i had dd1 when ds1 was 11 months old and things got so much easier after that.i now have 4 children and am expecting no.5.i have had PND,and i have not found being a parent easy,but if it were easy then this site wouldn't exist.
ur friend probably meant well,but she would not really understand how u feel if she doesn't have children of her own imo.

[nomorekids]

Hi, baby no 1 is hard, baby no2 can be easier or harder you'll never know until u go 4 it. My ds was a brilliant pregnancy went into labour on my duer date born 1.02am day after but i couldn't breastfeed and he still gets into bed with me and dh about 3am, food turned into a battle about 2yrs but has now turned a corner. DD was 6wks+ prem breech birth, in scbu for 11days with jaundice, i had secondary pph at 17days lost half my blood and had massice blood transufsion. DD at 7mths sleeps 12hrs straight at night, i breastfeed despite from when she was 3wks old despite loosing my milk when she was a week old and she is happy and healthy. Everyone feels depressed at some point no matter how "good" their babies r. U take the rough with the smooth and get through every bad patch eventually.

As to your "friends" comments, personally if any friend of mine deigned to make comments like that wether they had children or not i would wipe them from my xmas card list!!!!!

You take care and do what is right for you and dh.

[Baysmum]

Thank you to evone who responded with so much good advice and food for thought. Think I am just having a rough patch with ds (can hear him screaming at dh upstairs as I type)! but am v confused about baby no.2 and this girls comments just hit a raw nerve. Obviously, despite having had 1 good pregnancy and birth you never know what will happen with no.2 - or indeed if it will happen. As ds was a (lovely) surprise Ive never actually tried for a baby and am finding it so hard to know what is best for our family x