Do you ever feel like mental health services are just cold?

[SiennaBlake]

I've had a letter today saying that they've tried to contact me to arrange an appointment and if I don't call within seven days they will assume I don't need the service anymore. I had one missed call off a withheld number so I assume that was them.

It's just the way the letter is written though. It's just cold and puts me off completely. Out of three mh professionals that have treated me, two were really unprofessional so I'm on edge about the whole thing as it is and the fact that the letter is so "well I guess you don't need us then!" that it makes me wary of what the people will be like.

Why don't they realise that the people these letters reach are probably quite emotionally wobbly and send a letter that isn't so abrupt?

It's putting me off even calling. It took a lot for me even to accept being put on the waiting list again after the first time (when they couldn't understand the fact that a lone parent had no one to take their child so they could attend an appointment).

I'm just kicking myself for moving home because I think I've gone from a really good mental health service to a not so good one.

Does anyone else ever feel like the communication from some mh services is quite cold considering they are dealing with people who may be close to the edge?

[fluffydressinggown]

They can be very cold yes. I have met MH professionals that have been very take it or leave it which is very distressing when you are feeling so rubbish.

In saying that my current CPN is very warm and caring so not everyone is cold.

I hope they can provide you with the support you need.

[brightandbreezyNot]

Agree, they are cold. Care coordinator was with me at psychiatrist appt 5 wks ago and he wanted to see me in 4 weeks. Nothing arranged. Coordinator did try ringing me 2weeks ago but I misses call. No contact since. I know I will be criticised for not getting in touch, but mentally it's really hard.

[SiennaBlake]

Thank you for the replies!

Yes, it can be quite distressing when they don't seem too concerned. The first mh person I saw was like that and actually laughed at me once. I thought they were all like that after that. It's so easy for contact to be dropped I think bright. I asked to see someone else instead of that man and they said they'd call me back to tell me the new person to see. They never did and it was the last straw I needed at the time in realising that no one gave a shit and I didn't pursue help for a long time after that.

I miss my last therapist lady because she was just like that fluffy. She was very caring (it felt like anyway!).

It does make me sad that it isn't taken into account that people with mh conditions might be likely to be anxious about calling or making contact and it's a one shot and you've missed it type gig. I know it's because of funding or whatever but it's still bad.

[Selks]

OP, it will have been a standard letter that you've received I expect, not one worded by one of your CPNs or whoever, so please don't take it personally. But yes, the wording of the letter could probably be better, and clearly doesn't take into account the effect of abruptness on vulnerable people.

Unfortunately letters like these do need to be sent, as there are so many missed appointments - but I agree, they should be worded better. Don't let it put you off accessing services that you may need and benefit from though.

[SiennaBlake]

Oh, I know it's just a standard one sent out to everyone but I think that's why it's bothered me more. There will be people far more ill than me who don't have family to push them into having the confidence to pick up the phone and ring them back. There'll be people who get that letter who it's just the last straw for.

It's not a missed appointment letter (I wasn't too clear). They haven't given me an appointment yet but apparently have tried calling to arrange one. I must have missed the call and obviously can't call back because they didn't leave a message or number (even though I've given them permission to). So one missed call that I had no clue was them and then I get a letter that is quite accusatory in the way it's written, as if I've ignored them on purpose.

It just makes me sad because it reinforces the idea that even the people who are meant to help have no clue about how our minds might be working.

[brightandbreezyNot]

Thinking about it, the same happened to me when initially accessing services.unknown missed call, then letter accusing you of not contacting. Unlike you I have to try and sort it all out without support so yes it is hard and harsh

[Pare]

It is the patronising nature of some MH workers that I can't stand. I've met some very nice practitioners who have listened and talked to me like an intelligent human being. I've met others who have talked down to me and treated me appallingly because they think they can get away with it because I have a MH condition. It is always your word against theirs and of course because you have a MH condition your perspective is 'distorted'.

[brightandbreezyNot]

Ditto to the post from pare.

[Banderwassnatched]

Oh hell yes. Having called the psychology service in tears, and waited for 8 months, I got a letter offering me an appointment with the same bumf about being discharged if I didn't attend. It was wholly inappropriate, in the circumstances, and quite upsetting.

It's not that it says that they'll discharge me, so much, it's that it says 'We'll assume you no longer require the service'. It's likely that the reverse is true- if I'm an outright no show I'm probably not well enough to attend or pick up the phone and tell them where I am.

[Pare]

I had a meeting with the Crisis Team manager after a nurse admitted to having made a mess of a meeting, and I still got the 'sorry that from your perspective you felt that...' cop out. Even though they instigated the meeting. Then I'm supposed to trust them with my innermost thoughts and turmoil and they can't understand why I find that difficult.

[NanaNina]

I agree that some MH professionals are rubbish. The consultant psychiatrist who admitted me as an IP in 2010 was unbelievable - he had no social skills whatsoever, not even eye contact! He was very abrupt to the point of being rude sometimes. All the staff on the ward were intimidated by him and he made my stay far more uncomfortable than necessary.

When I was discharged I had a CPN who was lovely and I grew very fond of her but she moved out of the area. She bought a colleague with her on her final visit who said I could contact her if necessary. Well I did need to contact her and CPN(2) is even nicer than the first one. She is incredibly supportive, and whenever I am in a state and phone her she always offers to come out the same day or the following day. She is my salvation.

I now see a psychiatrist who isn't a consultant but is a really nice, gentle sort of man. My 3 month apt was yesterday and my usual psych was not available and so I saw another consultant psychiatrist who was dismissive and really couldn't wait to get me out of his consulting room, and left me feeling even more worthless than I was before I saw him!

[Loveneverfails]

YES

and I work in them.

[brightandbreezyNot]

I am finding it disheartening that we are all experiencing similar things.what irritates me the most is that our opinions are discarded.I

[Loveneverfails]

I am shocked by the treatment or lack of of patients and am told I am too soft as a mental health nurse.

In reality, I am being human, I feel your pain!

[Pare]

Whilst it is disheartening it is also helpful to know I'm not the only one having these issues. They make me feel like it is just my distorted perception but I can see from here that it isn't.

[dontrunwithscissors]

I'm so very, very lucky that the majority of MH professionals I've seen have been good. A few have been cold and patronising. Some have been absolutely amazing. I currently have the best pdoc/CPN combination so far.

One of the reasons why we still live in this area is that the MH services are really good and supportive.

[Loveneverfails]

I like the sound of good and supportive services :)