My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

Mental health

Feel so weak because I cannot cope without Anti-Depressants.

4 replies

Milkandlotsofwine · 09/07/2014 22:16

Just feel so low right now...

I have been on AD's for 2 and a half years now. My fiancée and I split up 3 years ago (he literally cut me out of his life overnight) and I had to go on Mirtazapine due to the crippling depression and horrific insomnia that I developed afterwards.

I was weaned off them 3 months ago however, as I genuinely thought it was time that I did so. I now feel utterly dreadful though. I spend all day thinking negative thoughts; that I'm a loser, my life is a disaster, I am unlovable and will be alone forever...it just goes on and on. My sleep is better than it was though; although I still wake up pretty early every morning.

I feel so sad that I cannot function without tablets. I feel as if my brain is permanently broken, and that I am going to be like this forever. I feel so alone and hopeless right now. I feel like I try and try, but nothing ever gets better for me...

OP posts:
Report
Sillylass79 · 09/07/2014 23:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Milkandlotsofwine · 09/07/2014 23:39

Yes, I've had therapy. I'm actually training to become a counsellor, and it was a requirement of my last course. I found it utterly unhelpful to be honest; if anything the counsellor just helped reinforce all my beliefs that I will never love/be loved again.

I suppose there is no shame in it really. It just makes me really sad to know that this is the way I naturally feel without chemical help nowadays.

OP posts:
Report
Sillylass79 · 10/07/2014 02:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LastingLight · 10/07/2014 09:57

I've been on ad's for 11 years now and unlikely to come off them ever. Maybe in the future I will try but right now my psychiatrist says I'm very likely to have a serious depressive episode and I cannot put myself and my family through that. But you know what? I don't care. If I had high blood pressure or diabetes I would swallow my pills without thinking twice. Mental illness is no different.

I'm sorry that counselling didn't help you. I've had lots of counselling with 3 different counselors, 2 of whom helped a lot and the 3rd one not so much. Please try again with someone different, it really can help you see things in a different light.

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.