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Mental health

so unhappy

7 replies

vstressed · 10/09/2006 13:27

i am taking ads to try to get more control over my feelings so that i can let go of arguments with h more easily and stop getting into such a state. one of the things which makes me so unhappy is that h sometimes shouts,rants and swears, even when our baby can hear, at me when he's angry. he won't do anything about this, eg anger mamgement, as he doesn't think he has a problem. i feel that i'm doing alot by taking my ad(which make me feel very bad in the mornings but i think it's worth it if they help with my anxiety) but he's not prepared to do anything to help stop shouting. Any opinions?

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Overrun · 10/09/2006 13:37

I'm sorry that you are having such a bad time vdstressed. It sounds as if you don't feel very supported by your h, it can be very stressful living with some one who behaves in such a volatile manner. Do you feel afraid of him?
Sorry that the antidepressants are making you feel bad in the morning, perhaps it might be worth changing them if you feel that they have this effect. Sometimes you have to try several types to get the ones that work best for you

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jelly2tot · 10/09/2006 13:39

i know this may sound simplistic, but counselling (aplos my spelling) ask ur docs if any local service avail even if it just for u to sound out ur feeling and get some control over bein stressed, be clear, ads may be a good short term measure but in the long run u need to be able to sort out whatever probs there may b with clarity (this a valued judgement i know) sometimes it good 2 talk directly 2 some1 who will not form oppinions is totally comitted 2 trying 2 help u sort probs out and is in no way judgemental of anything u have to say, best of luck

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vstressed · 10/09/2006 13:53

i feel he should be prepared to do something to try to stop his shouting and ranting. i've been to counselling and we've been together too. for a whil it made a difference. i'm now taking the ad as a last resort but it would help me so much if i knew he was prepared to do something to help stop his ranting. i am scared of him sometimes and he knows this. am i being unreasonable in wanting him to do something?

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Overrun · 10/09/2006 14:00

It sounds like you can't continue like this for much longer vstressed, and certainly from what you've said it sounds like he has the problem not you.
It's hard though, if he is not prepared to admit he has a problem, you have very few choices. Do you think an ultimatum might work, or could you go and stay with friend/family for a few days or so to get yourself out of this difficult situation, give yourself time to think, and make him realise how upset you are by his behaviour.
You say that he behaves like this to you when your baby can hear, how old is your baby? Do you ever worry that he might physically harm you or your baby?

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Overrun · 10/09/2006 14:02

has your h always been this way, is it worse atm, if so, has something happened to make him worse? What prompted you to post, are you looking for advice, or do you just want to talk about it? I think many people might say what I have about essentially, not putting up with it. but then its easy for us to type that isn't it? You are the one faced with some very difficult decisons I suspect.

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jelly2tot · 10/09/2006 14:15

it sounds like u need some support, or pos a shoulder 2 cry on( this meant in a sympathetic tone) do u have any1 who can help, u really should not b left alone 2 deal with difficult times, not sure how old ur babe is, has it gotten worse since he/she born, not sure how old ur h is, sometimes i feel men hav a gr8 deal of difficulty facing up 2 things (hope that not 2 big a generalisation)

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vstressed · 10/09/2006 18:22

we had a talk about it this afternoon and he has agreed to talk to someone about how angry he gets and what to do about it