Psychomum in need of support please.

[Flamesparrow]

Psychomum has just returned from the doctors. She had a car crash 12 weeks ago, and hasn't been the same since - on painkillers for pains, but also in herself she has deflated

Yesterday (after I blew up at her and yelled lots - due to my own tiredness etc, she just happened to be my target ) she cried a lot, and myself and another friend made her a doctors appointment.

Today she was marched to said appointment (with the other friend), still muttering that she didn't see anything wrong with her and why she should go. She got there and everything came pouring out - how low she is feeling, how she feels that everyone hates her, and how much she wants to stop hurting, and go back to being a normal friend, mother and wife.

She has come home with a prescription for mirtazapine, and sleeping tablets if the first ones don't help with the sleep as well.

She needs support from all angles, but doesn't feel able to write about it herself yet (she knows I am writing this).

This has been so hard to watch, I haven't known what to do or how to help (although we have now established that yelling at her isn't the way to go ), even though I have been through depression myself, I feel so useless.

She doesn't want to be on ADs - family history is making her convinced that she is insane if she is given medication - please can all of you nice sane people on them/who have been on them come and show your faces so she can be reassured.

I want my bubbly friend back.

[Alibaldi]

Not on AD's but just wanted to say how much Psychomum has helped me by listening about my troubles so now I feel that she is going through this. Psychomum we're all here to listen for you too. Just wish there was more I could do to help. Sending you lots of love hugs and kisses. If you ever ever need to chat I'm always on late at night UK time don't forget.

[mummyhill]

Hi psychomum - I have been on and of ad's since the age of 16. As depression is a symptom of my thyroid disorder an due to PND after both of my children. Taking ad's is not a sign of insanity sweetheart it is an extremley good way of avoiding it. No one hates you, they just miss the bubbly person who has gone into hiding.

[DumbledoresGirl]

Blimey! No experience of taking ADs but I had to respond to the idea that Psychomum thinks no-one likes her. I only "know" her on MN, but I think she is great!
Get the help you need Psychomum and thank God for your lovely caring friends who have brought you to this point.

[footprint]

Psychomum, you poor thing.
I have been on ADs twice in my life and I would say they literally saved my life the second time. I came off them when ready with no problems at all. Depression is a chemical thing, low levels of neurotransmitters in your brain, and the ADs just help balance things out.
There are so many people on them, and you would never guess!

[psychomum5]

thankyou all.....I am here.....am hiding behind flame



feel like pooh in all honesty......am not happy about being given tabs.....am not happy about feeling like I feel right now, and also not wanting to take anything mainly because I think I am ending up like my mother....(she is schizophrenic, and I know it is not at all like that in any way, but I am so convinced that is the way I am falling)

anyway....thankyou. tis nice to feel like I am indeed liked and not hated, which is how I have been feeling

[JackieNo]

Psychomum, for you. DH is on ADs and has been for about 3 years now, I think. He was really worried that it would make him less 'himself', IYSWIM, but in fact it's brought him back to us. And he recognises that too now. Hope you start to feel better soon .

[trinityrhino]

psychomum huge

I think your fab

I have been on ad's for about 7 years on and off due to different things happenning and pnd.

You aren't going crazy honey, your just depressed.
Big hugs
xxx

[WigWamBam]

Oh Psycho ... so sorry you're feeling like this.

Being prescribed ads doesn't mean you're insane - but you already know that really. It simply means you have depression and they really can help.

I was on them for a year not so long ago, and no-one would have known. They don't make you grow an extra head so no-one can tell ... but they can just give you that bit of breathing space to help you get better and help make this pain that you're feeling go away.

I guess given what you say about your mother, it's understandable that you're reluctant to take them - but sweetie, you are not your mother, and you don't have her illness.

[heavenis]

My sister took ASs for a few months (marriage problems) She really didn't want to be on them but it did help her cope and she reduced her the amount she was taking when she felt able. She doesn't take anything now.
I can understand how worried you are. Would you be able to take them for a few weeks and then see if you are feeling any better. If you've got your friends round you I'm sure they will help you monitor things. (i hope you understand what I am trying to say).
You are liked. We will help in anyway possible. Please don't keep things bottled up.
Take care x

[heavenis]

ADs not ASs

[suejonez]

I haven't taken AD's but have a friend on them and I would take them like a shot if I thought it would help. Modern drugs are marvellous things and we should use them (wisely) to improve our lives. Taking AD's will not make her insane any more than NOT taking them makes anyone sane. It's a medical treatment for a chemical imbalance, no-one likes to take drugs but sometimes they're necessary. I take tablets to help with a hormone imbalance, it sometimes makes me cross that I don't have the perfect body that can produce what it needs to on its own but I'm better off on them, so I take them.

Sorry you're having a hard time Psychomum but don't be so hard on yourself.

[MarsLady]

No ADs advice.... BUT

I likes ya babe! We mums of 5 need to stick together

So honeysuckle.... take the ADs, give yourself a break, find another friend to help with the 5 that aren't yours and...............SMILE!

[Jasnem]

Psychomum, I only really know you via Flame, but I like what I've seen of you.

I know you know in theory that depression and schizophrenia are poles apart, but I'm reminding you that they are in the hope that if you hear it often enough you will start to believe it.

Please take what you need to to help you feel yourself again (and if it doesn't help go back). I'll be thinking of you...

[JessaJam]

again, no advice...but holy crap! Going through all this AND looking after 10 kids today! Blimey...!! Your are clearly not a "normal" friend..you are a super-friend!

[foxinsocks]

oh psycho - you know what - my mum has a mental illness (well several in fact!) and any time dh even asks me if I'm feeling ok (if I'm a bit premenstrual) I start picturing the men in white coats coming to pick me up and dragging me off to the nearest psychiatric unit! It is a totally natural feeling if you have experienced mental illness in a parent to worry that you are following in the same footsteps.

Just be assured that by actually going and asking for help you have taken the first step in taking control of your situation and sorting yourself out. Well done you for having the courage to go to the doctor!

[madmarchhare]

Hi, my aunt was very very ill and suffered badly with depression all her life and when I was first prescribed ADs I thought I was on that same slippery slope. However, since taking them and getting better I realised that I wasnt my aunt, that I had my own set of problems, which were perfectly manageable with the right treatment and the support of the people around me.

As it happens Ive just started taking them again now, but this time, without those fears that I had before, simply because I know they will work and when the time is right I will come off them again, without any problems.

Its so difficult to see straight at this time but you will feel better and you will return to your old self, I promise.

[mummyhill]

I don't know if you have seen this allready but it summed everything up for me.

[mummyhill]

Why can I not get the link to work? Lets try again here

[CheesyFeet]

I've been on AD's on and off for years, but my illness has never deteriorated beyond "normal" depression. The AD's correct a chemical imbalance in your brain and help you put things in perspective.

This time round I have been on them for 18 months, I am doing OK and am managing to juggle a full time job, my home and family life without any more problems than anyone else. I know that if I come off them it will all go wrong again so I am happy to keep going for now.

It sounds like you have some wonderful friends and they will help you out in RL along with us lot on here

[MerlinsBeard]

((((((psycho))))) this may sound so so odd but i am really pleased that you have finally admitted this out loud (IYSWIM)had a feeling of something (here is not the place) and i am really pleased that now you can get the help you need.

I was on ADs for along time and a lot of them as well, they will help you by making things get in a line and be dealt with one at a time (at least thats what it felt like for me) You are poles apart from your mum altho i know that you don't see that.

You have fantastic friends online as well as RL and you should lean on them ALL ;)

Flame, go havea rest ;) seriously, well done for marching her there. despite a fall out you were still there and you knew what she needed (((flame )))X xx

[mellowma]

Message withdrawn

[TambaTheAnnoyingPurpleDragon]

Psycho....

You know where I am if you need some one to listen, to shout at, to make you laugh, to give you a kick up the arse when needed and to take your mind off things (granted its usually tmi for you though )

xxxx

[VeniVidiVickiQV]

Ah, now I see Flame

Psychomum, I dont think there are many people that aren't reluctant to take AD's. Its admitting something that 99% of the population are scared to admit. Its difficult to accept that your mind can be unwell. There is such a stigma attached to it still too.

You clearly have some great friends and support though, and well done you for taking the tablets. In a few weeks time you will start to feel better (although you may not realise it straight away), and give it a couple of months and you'll be up and away again I'm sure.

xxx

[Flamesparrow]

Psycho - I am really really sorry... my brain is frozen and I know there was something you were wanting me to come on and say... and I've forgotten

[CantSleepWontSleep]

psychomum - no experience of ADs, but there are plenty of people on MN who seem pretty sane to me who are/have been on them

You were a fab help to me the other week, so just wanted to echo the bit about you being liked .

(and whilst I'm here can I offer a hug to flame for her tiredness and caffeine withdrawal)