Hi everyone.
I thought I'd NC but thought what's the point really in doing that.
Anyway I have a 9 month old DD who I love dearly and unconditionally. I am on Sertraline (have been on antid's since 12 years old, 23 nearly 24 now). I am on 50mg at the moment but was on 150mg before being pregnant.
I was on it because of depression. I really don't like feeling depressed so have been on them to avoid this.
Anyway recently I have started to not feel depressed but very panicky. I have had panic attacks before, but they were far from regular (once or twice a year maybe, or more if something bad happened).
I keep being afraid I am going to hurt my child. Not deliberately. I am frightened that I will accidently knock her out. I'm terrified that I'm secret a paedophile or a murderer or something like that and would end up hurting her and not cut out to be a good parent. I think this because I don't feel instant disgust with some horrible things that happen in the news I'm disgusted but I'm disgusted on a rational level more and I'm not sure if this is my emotions dulled down due to medication or something else. But some other times I'm hysterical with sadness like that case about 5 months ago when the little boy was starved to death I was in tears.
I'm so frightened one of these things is true and I just panic. It's not like me never been like this before does anyone know what is wrong with me here?
I'm breastfeeding DD [mixed feeding really] so I don't want to stop unless I really have to. When I think I might be something bad or that she might be hurt due to my negligence/stupidity I feel a cold disgust inside of me.
I seriously don't know what is wrong. I just feel so panicky and upset. Does anyone have any experiences with feeling like this?
FWIW I've never fancied children or been a particularly violent person but I don't know if I have a uti or something as I burn down there in the last few days and never had that before and I have been so moody and irritable I don't know how I feel. I'm waffling now can someone please help?
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.
Mental health
Panicky and worrying I will hurt my child.
10 replies
GimmeDaBoobehz · 21/01/2014 18:32
OP posts:
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.