I'm struggling, really struggling & I don't know if its normal.
I've got a DS 4yo & a 10mo DD, I was made redundant whilst pg with DD & have no job to go to. All roles I look at are FT - we can just get by on one wage & feel if I go back FT, our lives will be over run with childcare, housework etc especially as DH cannot do any drop off / pick up due to his work.
DD is a very very bad sleeper, had maybe 7 nights uninterrupted since she was born and she doesnt nap. Even now she won't fucking sleep, despite been up since 5am, fed clean & warm. DS is full of beans, just refuses to play by himself & needs constant interaction.
I can be horrid to kids, snapping, shouting at my DS. Ignoring DD in favour of housework as I'm so sick of her. I hate myself, this is not the mother they deserve.
I have no family, both parents dead & my DB lives abroad. MIL lives locally, but offers little - maybe a babysit every few months.
I'm arguing with my DH constantly & am been such a bitch to him. We don't have sex, I rarely show him affection & my mood swings are awful. He helps with DC when home, but that's at 6pm when I've done 12.5 hours with them & just have had enough.
I feel miserable, like I would never have had kids if if know it was going to be this hard.
I miss work, I miss me & I genuinely think if I had the chance & it wouldn't fuck them up, I'd run away.
I have no idea what to do. I'm so alone & it's just getting worse. I daren't go to GP as I don't want to be on pills and I have no one to help me.
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Mental health
Struggling with it all
2 replies
Turnbacktime101 · 20/01/2014 12:42
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