Was diagnosed with depression yesterday. I suspect it started a while ago - the dc have been quite stressful for some months, finances haven't been great - but I didn't really notice properly until 2 weeks ago. I've always been prone to worrying, although even my dp hadn't realised to what extent because I don't like to put too much onto other people. Anyway, a couple of weeks ago I lay in bed, not getting to sleep, and started to worry. One of my biggest worries has always been the dc - what if they get seriously ill, or have an accident, or somebody takes them etc etc. Somehow, it warped in my mind - so not only was I worrying about those things, I began to freak out that I might be the cause/the one to do it.
I haven't really slept properly since, I have no appetite, I'm throwing up at least once a day, I'm always on the verge of tears or actually crying. I do the things I'm supposed to do - I get the dc off to school, go to work, do stuff around the house - but it's all like I'm on autopilot. My doctor has prescribed citalopram, but I haven't started taking them yet because my dp works nights and I would rather he were home for the first few days. I plan to start on Sunday. I woke up this morning feeling fairly good though, maybe because I saw the doctor yesterday and I know there is help, but then it was completely shot to bits tonight. The dc started bickering again as soon as I went to put them to bed, then started hitting each other, and I just had a screaming rant at them. Now they're in bed miserable and I'm sitting here sobbing
Sorry for the LONG post, just needed to get it out I think
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Mental health
The day started so well. . .
93 replies
mouse26 · 17/01/2014 22:18
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