Note: Mumsnet has not checked the knowledge, experience or professional qualifications of anyone posting on Mumsnet Talk, so this is not necessarily the best place to seek help if you're feeling seriously distressed or suicidal. Mumsnet cannot be held responsible for any advice given on the site. If you need help urgently, please see our mental health web guide which can point you to expert advice and support.

I'm dying to meet someone with the same eating disorder as me!

(33 Posts)
MamaPingu Thu 09-Jan-14 22:56:04

I think this is the right place to post this? Eating disorders are a mental issue I think!

Basically I have Selective Eating Disorder and I've never met anyone like me and tbh I'd love to!

SED causes me to eat the same three meals every day, trying new foods causes the same feelings of fear someone may get from seeing a spider for example. I panic and get such an adrenaline rush.

Basically SED is the same as fussy eating that is common in toddlers and children. Where they refuse to try things and will only eat particular meals. However it is more common in boys and should be gone by the time you are 8.
I am female and 19 now so I'm still going strong grin

Do you know anyone like this? Are you like this?
I'm dying to have someone's experiences with the disorder to share with me!

MamaPingu Thu 09-Jan-14 23:18:51

Anyone? smile
Surely I'm not alone!
Also is this thread in the right section? I couldn't find another that was suitable except general health maybe

IndigoTea Thu 09-Jan-14 23:25:52

Sorry can't help, hopefully you will find someone. I'm curious to know which foods you do eat? smile

MamaPingu Thu 09-Jan-14 23:29:33

I've just posted another thread worrying about if I'm missing anything major in my diet but all seems ok ish!

I have branflakes for breakfast, a ham and cheese sandwich for dinner and sausages/chicken nuggets with mash and veg for tea!
I can have a margarita pizza if I'm desperately bored with my meals but I try not to grin

My meats are all processed someone pointed out!
I do go for smooth textures and bland tastes, how exciting wink

MamaPingu Thu 09-Jan-14 23:31:22

You should see the amount of sausages in my freezer it's brill, I buy them in 30s so I don't have to keep going to the butchers smile
I get them from the butcher so they should be decent meat, they're yummy too!

Sassy01 Thu 09-Jan-14 23:38:39

I'm the same, and I'm 35! Have got worse as I've got older .... I only eat a few same foods , and eat the same thing for dinner pretty much every day ... No one gets me at all :-/ x

MamaPingu Thu 09-Jan-14 23:43:43

Sassy - I'm sorry you suffer from this too but I am excited to hear from you smile
I've felt like such an outcast all my life because of this, have you even found people can be a little aggressive and bully you over it? I've had people get mad at me for refusing to try foods and saying I am stubborn! I've also had people basically taking the piss for being too afraid.

When do you think your trouble with eating began?
Me and my parents know it was definitely before I turned 3. We are thinking it may have started when I had pneumonia at 18 months.

Also what is it you eat typically? smile

Iwasinamandbunit Fri 10-Jan-14 09:35:56

I don't have SED generally but when I am having a period of being extremely unwell I do eat the same safe foods only. What deems them safe is a strange mixture in my head that probably makes no sense whatsoever and the food varies. So as I said not the same as yourself but I do think I understand what your talking about.

I do struggle to eat at all when my anxiety kicks in and have been known to lose 1.5 stone in under a month. I can only eat food in my own home as well when unwell. It's a real shame as we love eating out.

MamaPingu Fri 10-Jan-14 10:35:54

Iwasinamandbunit- interesting! I've not heard of that before. I hope you don't mind asking you some questions about it smile
What brings on these periods of anxiety and your eating difficulties?
How long does it last usually?
And what foods are you limited to at this time?

I understand your eating out troubles. I love it to but I can only go places where I can have a margarita pizza or very rarely bangers and mash.
Is your trouble with eating out because meals aren't abailable for what you want or is it a hygiene concern or something?

Sassy01 Fri 10-Jan-14 14:15:54

It's quite embarrassing to admit the food I love on , generally a lot of takeaway rubbish ( but only from a couple of places , because I don't like (and won't try) anywhere else ... Rest of the time i have beans on toast or spaghetti on toast ...I have some other stuff I would eat but unless that is the food I fancy at that specific time , it makes me feel nauseous even considering it. I wasn't quite as bad as a child, but still have always been extremely fussy. Not sure when it started . When I moved out and was in control of my own dinner every day it just gradually got worse. I find my partners family talk to me like I'm a child because of it and deliberately arrange things to be at places where I won't like anything , they find it hilarious . People think I choose to be this way but I honestly can't help it , my partner eats anything and everything so he totally doesn't get where I'm coming from... X

ChilliQueen Fri 10-Jan-14 14:29:41

Gosh... I have heard of this, but only in younger children. I can imagine it's very frustrating for those around you - mainly because people like to share experience/tastes etc. MamaPingu... you don't seem too distressed by the situation though? (lots of smiley faces in your posts). Please correct me if I'm wrong.

Can I ask a question - I find this quite fascinating. Do you ever eat between your meals? Do you try different types of cheese and different flavoured sausages - or do you stick to the same varieties.

Do you want to try other foods? You are missing out on so much. Or are you happy the way you are? Are you looking for help to try new foods?

CecyHall Fri 10-Jan-14 14:33:50

I suspect my mum might have something like this. She was hugely selective as a teen, slightly more variety now but she will eat the same thing every day and panics when she eats out if there isn't anything that's on her ok list to eat.

MamaPingu Fri 10-Jan-14 20:17:59

Sassy- Do not feel embarrassed about the things you eat, from what I've've read people with SED often go for carbs and even rule out entire food groups!
I am so sorry your partners family treat you this way, I'm fortunate in that I'm not particularly targeted for it people just don't understand. For example, every time I visit my grandparents my grandad will say "ey i bet you would like [enter random food here]. He, like many others, just can't imagine or grasp the idea of what the problem is!
Embarrassingly I've had to order from the children's menu several times, isn't a brilliant impression when meeting people for the first time!
Thank you for your PM Sassy I will reply asap.

Chilli Queen- In day to day life I don't tend to get too distressed about it, but there is always a kind of feeling of disappointment lingering at the back of my mind when eating. Eating out with people who don't understand my issue is very distressing. People seem to think its a choice. I have explained it to my mum as it being like me offering her to stroke a mouse (she hates them), it creates a feeling of panic and anxiety. People can be extremely rude about it but as you say it's because they want to share food with you and they wouldn't think twice before trying food.

I do tend to stick to the same types yes! Plain pork sausages and mild cheeses like cheddar or double Gloucester typically. Think plain haha smile
I will have snacks yes like a toffee yoghurt usually. People with SED often stick to the same brands also, like I'd just go without if the ketchup wasn't heinz or the sausages weren't from the same butcher.

A part of me is content with how things are but I also look with envy at other peoples meals. My parents eat very well, lots of salads and tasty meals and there's me having bangers and mash AGAIN. My parents used to have to take bisto best abroad to Greece and cook me veg dinners, bless them! My main motivation for changing is because I'm worried about passing it onto my son as I know the embarrassment and stress that can come with it.

MamaPingu Fri 10-Jan-14 20:20:28

My mum actually told me a year ago she only just began to understand me as she knew a woman her age who was similar. I found that very strange that it'd took so long for her to understand which explains why people treat you like a moron for it!
My mum and dad still say things that suggest they don't fully get it.
For example "wouldn't you love to have this beautiful salad with us", I don't feel like you would say that if you understood!

ChilliQueen Fri 10-Jan-14 20:31:10

So... MamaPingu... would you like some help...? Do you actually look at peoples food with envy? We're all different. My DS age 7 loves broccoli... I hate the stuff! Yet he's eaten it every night for at least 5 years as the only other veg he likes is cold tinned sweetcorn (easy!). Me bored of cooking it.

I'll try anything and everything, but generally we all get used to cooking our few favourites.

Personal question... I'm assuming you're probably a bit thin/underweight and don't overeat.... unless you cook too many sausages...!

Do you want to try other foods... a pan-fried steak? Sausage Roll? I'm worried that you spend your life eating the same things. It's not the be all and end all, but variety (a bit of variety - even changing sausage/cheese variety would be a start). Are you ready to be a bit brave? Needs to be done slowly. Are you interested in starting to add things to your diet...

MamaPingu Fri 10-Jan-14 20:43:59

It's strange because I look at others meals with envy wishing I could eat it but then if offered to try the food it's a definite no! IYSWIM? I want to but I don't! It sends such an adrenaline rush around my body when someone is pushing for me to try something. I agree very slowly is the best way forward.
I went for cognitive behavioural therapy in 2012 but fell pregnant not long after starting which made my aversion to food slightly worse so I stopped. I'm planning on going back to start again this year in the hope something will change.
I dream of being able to go out for a meal and order something different and not be terrified of new foods being on the plate. It'd be a dream to be normal for once!

Are you thinking your son is similar? Least broccolli is good for him smile

Cailleach Fri 10-Jan-14 21:05:36

I have Asperger's Syndrome and will happily eat the same thing day in, day out, week after week, month after month. Apparently this is common in people with ASD, as is an over-sensitivity to taste and textures which makes some foods unbearable to taste or even smell.

Luckily I can change what I eat if I have to, in other words I can cope with eating different meals every day without too much distress, but I really don't want to. For me it's about predictability and routine and control.

ASD is under-diagnosed in women. Just saying!

MamaPingu Fri 10-Jan-14 21:20:51

Cailleach- thankyou for your post!
I have read that about the sensory hypersensitivity and the link with ASD. I think there's a chance I could have it tbh, maybe mildly. I've always known I'm different to other people. I've heard ASD shows women's brains to function as a healthy mans brain.

Could you tell me more about ASD in women? I was trying to google about it yesterday but couldn't find anything relevant it was all comparisons of men and women with ASD but not the signs IYSWIM.

MamaPingu Fri 10-Jan-14 21:21:39

Predictability routine and order are definitely a big part of my life also

thingamajig Fri 10-Jan-14 21:35:46

DH has SED, I think. He doesn't have set daily meals, but only eats meat, potatoes, bread and chocolate. No fruit or veg, no dairy, no pasta or rice, fish etc etc. He shops and cooks for himself and I do me and the children - he finds it very difficult to serve food he doesn't like. He is AFRAID of other foods, much more than just not liking them. He is very set in his daily routines, sleep times etc aswell.
Fortunately he will eat curry or steak and chips so we can go out, but our options for going abroad are limited, which upsets me. I am also fearful about his long term health, though at the moment he is healthy and a good weight.
I think it probably came about as a child, speaking to his mum he was probably lactose intolerant and went off foods that made him sick, and rebellion against boarding school did the rest.

MamaPingu Fri 10-Jan-14 22:06:43

Thingamajig- his lactose intolerance does sound like the cause of his eating problems. Was he lactose intolerant from birth? (I don't know if it can start later?)
I am afraid of food but only if I have to touch it with my hands or to try it. If I touch chicken for example I'd have to wash my hands thoroughly and I'd still feel dirty very long after.

I'm used to the separate meals also, it is rather isolating. When I lived at home I always cooked my own meals separate to the rest of the family. I hope your DH doesn't feel too isolated by it too. Have you spoke about it?

You sound supportive/understanding just by the fact you acknowledged he's afraid of the food. Some people seem to find it very hard to get their heads around!

devilinside Fri 10-Jan-14 22:52:36

My sister is like this, we also both have AS, mine manifests in the opposite direction though, eating everything in sight

Iwasinamandbunit Fri 10-Jan-14 23:37:06

My periods of not eating well are linked to anxiety, regardless of whatever triggers my anxiety I then fret about eating anything in case it is dirty or poisonous. I also worry I may contaminate food I make for others.

When well I can eat almost anything and am not remotely fussy. The not being able to eat out is also linked to that as I cannot bear the thought of people touching my food. The longest period I had was about four months a few years ago. It was actually really bad as went down to about 7 stone then, I'm usually about 9 to 9.5 stone.

When incredibly anxious I actually vomit, I don't make myself vomit I am just involuntarily sick. I also feel as if my throat is closing up.

The foods I'm limited to at the time are just things I consider safe so for instance cheddar but only a brand I have had before and once I have eaten some and it doesn't kill me then I can relax when eating from the same block. I'm ok at the moment and have just finished eating the Christmas Stilton. So my range of emotions is wide.

I have had more than one diagnosis over the years, suspected bi polar for a while but they have changed their mind.

cherrypez Fri 17-Jan-14 19:54:27

My daughter has this!! I never knew it had a name though...stumbled across this thread by chance, glad I did.

She has been this way since around 2.5 yrs. I went to countless HVs and was told she would grow out of it. She is now 17 and has eaten two different dinners rotated ever since. She will cringe away from people eating things she doesn't like. I always assumed this was just a 'thing' for her, like my fear of mice or others' fear of spiders.

DD hasn't eaten fruit or veg since all this began. I could weep when I think of how poor her diet is. She is generally very healthy though.

Funnyfishface Sat 18-Jan-14 00:56:50

My son aged 24 also has this.
He has always had an issue with food. It doesn't interest him at all.
He would live off bread, chicken and chips.
He doesn't have any seasoning, sauces etc. everything has to be dry.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now