I'm not rational, I know I'm not rational, I've completely lost the plot, I'm losing my mind, trying so hard not to empty the cupboard of pills but I'm not succeeding.
I've completely fell apart, cant stop crying, feel sick lost it with the kids, its only day 3 of the school holidays and 2 of them are grounded, the oldest I cant ground so I have bagged up all his clothes, clean/dirty/wet and put the by the front door.
I cant phone my friends because i'm scared I will say the wrong thing as everything they do is getting on my nerves, I really am a horrible person.
It would be best if I just walked away but I don't seem to be able to.
I'm having an operation in 2 weeks and im terrified, not that it will hurt but that I will wake up after the operation,
I don't want to, I want to be dead but I don't want to hurt my kids, I don't want to be hear anymore, I don't deserve to be here anymore they all deserve better than I can give them.
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Mental health
There's no point anymore
18 replies
muddleup · 30/06/2013 19:17
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