Depressed husband

[eminemmerdale]

I'm really worried about DH - he is prone to bouts of 'blackness' but is such a typical man, he refuses to do anything about it. Just lately, things have got worse and worse - he is constantly worried about money (we are struggling but there really is very little that can be done), he has a constant headache, is reluctant to eat and is just full of gloom. Last night was awful - he just sat there complaining about his head, refusing to take any painkillers (doesn't like them), kept going to the computer and looking at bank statements etc and just looks like he's about to explode. I can't seem to get through to him that a) spending his life like this is NOT going to change anything and b) he really does need some help. I just called him and said look you need some solutions to this to which he barked 'three months on a desert island and all our money problems gone - yes who will do that?' in a really not nice way. It's not as though we are completely on the poverty line - we have old debts we're paying and obviously the cost of living is rocketing, but the mortgage and bills are always paid - it's just those unexpected things that always turn up and we don't have any 'luxuries' - ie we never go out, takeways?? what are they! and then the children keep growing (damn them!!) What can I do ?? :(

[clareabouts]

I expect you've tried this, but would he go and see his GP? About the headaches, if nothing else? A good GP will ask the right questions and hopefully be able to recommend some useful treatment.

[eminemmerdale]

I'm trying to get him to :( I wonder if I could go and talk abuot him to the doc or is that not allowed??

[janesnowdon1]

You can go and talk to the GP about him - I did this for my P but the upshot was that I should try to get him to come in with me and book a double appointment so we all had time to talk. I eventually managed to get my P to go with me by saying I was worried about my own MH given the situation and that it would get appalling for our DC if it continued.


The GP said I could go and talk to him when I needed to and that I needed to focus on myself not my P as only my P himself could save himself.

The Depression Fallout site and books by Anne Sheffield are quite helpful for partners and carers to understand the condition and how it can also inevitably affect them.

[EeTraceyluv]

Thanks so much (still me, just nc'd!) It's getting worse - his car broke down yesterday which is more money and we've just had yet more bills come in. I can see him just implding if this carries on. I mean, I worry too, I worry that we will lose the house, that the children will suffer (more) and that everything we've ever strived for will go. I am looking for a better job as it looks as though my current job, much as I love it will have hours cut soon. It's just awful. It's money, fucking money :(