Send me positive thoughts??

[ShabbyButNotChic]

Hi all, i stumbled across this weird and wonderfull place when researching my anxiety/depression and firstly, can i just say how helpful it has been reading all the advice even though it's not actually directed at me.

I am currently on propanolol for anxiety, but have a doctors appointment later this morning, with a view to possibly going on citalopram. My best friend has veen on it for 12months and it ha changed her life totally, i don't even connect her new self with her old self! However, i am totally shit scared of taking it myself. I keep obsessively researching everything about it, and now am convinced i will have every side effect going!

I don't know what i'm wanting people to say really, i would love people to say "its great, no side effects, felt awesome the same day!" But i know that is unrealistic.

Sorry for rambling...

P.s i have no kids, am i allowed on here?! (Do work with them though! )

[ShabbyButNotChic]

At the risk of turning this thread into a diary (and quite possibly boring you all to death) i have been to see the doctor, she was sooooo lovely and has prescribed me a months worth of citalopram 10mg. She says it should take the edge off, then see how i am in a month.

She also put me back on the pill to try to regulate my hormones, and also help me get back into a routine (verry irregular at the moment).

So yeah, just got to be brave enough to take them now! Eek!
Maybe i should start writing a diary, this actually is making me feel a bit better.....anyway i''ll stop rambling now :-/

[Joycey29]

Hope it works for you!

[SnowyMouse]

Good luck :) You don't need to be a mum to post here.

[NanaNina]

Hi SbnC (how about changing that round to Chic!! Not sure how bad your depression is but must be troubling you as you went to the GP 10mg citalopram is a very low dose. They do usually start you on a low dose and build it up if you are still struggling. I do wonder why so many people are scared of taking ADs - they are not going to turn you into a zombie or anything terrible. You must remember when you read the side effects that drug companies have to cover themselves, so they will have to print absolutely everything, even if it is very rare. Best think not to read the side effects.

I think the worst that can happen is you won't get sufficient relief from such a low dose, but as I'm sure you know thay can take up to 4 weeks to be fully effective. Yes writing a diary/journal is a good idea. I do that so that I can track how I am doing.

[ShabbyButNotChic]

Thanks all, @nana, i think im just scared of having something in me that i cant get out, like once you have taken it there is no going back. A lot of my anxiety is based on vomiting and i think im just worried that there will be this strange thing inside my body. I spoke to the doc about being sick on them and she did say the side effects are rare but they have to 'cover their back' by informing everyone so i'm trying to be rational about the chances.

I think some of my issue is that i dont want to be labelled as a 'depressed person'. Feels like admitting i'm broken. I just wish i could wake up and be normal!

[NanaNina]

I think the problem is that there is still sadly a big stigma attached to mental illness which is probably making you feel you don't want to be labelled as a "depressed" person, whereas you probably wouldn't mind admitting that you had broken your leg or had a chest infection.

I think the problem you hava bout vomiting is called emotophobia isn't it. There have certainly been threads about it on the MH site. Maybe you need to re-post and people will be able to talk to you about your particular problem. If that is your main concern, you may not be depressed at all, and so the meds might not help. Sounds like anxiety is your main problem so maybe the citalopram will help with that too.

I know you don't mean it but it can be hurtful to people on these threads to say that you don't want to be "labelled" as a depressed person, when others are really struggling and have long ago accepted that they are mentally ill. 1 in 4 people will suffer from mental illness in their life with the most common one being depression and anxiety as they usually go hand in hand.

[ShabbyButNotChic]

Oh god i would never mean that in a hurtful way, sorry if it comes across that way to anybody! I just find it hard to admit i have problems, and being diagnosed is a big thing for me. I've always put a front on even when i feel terrible, but i've got to the point where i'm finding it hard just to do the most basic of things. I've had to finally admit i can't cope on my own, and it is both a relief and scary!
I have thought about emetophobia before, but im not bothered by others being sick/germs etc so im not sure if i fit the criteria? I tend to get nervous, which makes me feel sick, so my way if coping is to not eat, but i then feel sick because im starving. Vicious cycle. Hopefully things will start to look up soon.