Have become very depressed again recently and have seen Dr and increased dose of venlafaxine to 225. Split up with DP last week, no DC multiple losses.
All I want to do at the moment is eat (crap), sleep and bury my head in the sand.
Had thoughts of self harm but not done it.
Am living in a complete mess. It now seems overwhelming. It was ok-ish before but has quickly turned to absolute madness. I would die of embarrassment if anyone came in! Dishes unwashed. Bed covers need changed, bottom sheet fallen off to sleeping on bare mattress, food wrappers/plates everywhere. Bins full and need emptied. Washing needs put away.
I don't think the mess is helping my mood as I can't relax. But I have no energy/motivation to do it.
I need hand holding, baby steps and support when I have done little bits. Please no one tell me I am disgusting, I feel horrid enough as it is. I am trying to get myself back on track. Today is an inset day and am back at work tomorrow so need to get sorted today.
It s tempting to just spend today sleeping. I don't want to die, I know things will get better. BUT I would like the world to stop for a bit so I could just crawl away and hide and no one would miss me. If I didn't have the logical side knowing I have felt worse before and I will get better then I could see how I would want to end it. Sometimes I am driving and think "I could just drive in to the sea/that wall" I am not saying I am going to or want to but I do think about it.
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Mental health
depression setting in, need support to tidy up/regain routine
28 replies
KitKatShoes · 07/05/2013 06:16
OP posts:
Unfortunatelyanxious ·
07/05/2013 08:03
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Unfortunatelyanxious ·
07/05/2013 17:15
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