Hmmm huge sigh!!!!

[faye0310]

Hi, I've been a lurker on here for a few weeks and really just need to get this all out! Sorry if it sounds like a huge moan!
So my dad was diagnosed with bladder cancer when I was pregnant 3 years ago, he has had two clear cameras recently so that is good news. I bought a house when my dd was 6 months old and done a huge renovation which was quite stressful. Just before Xmas found out my partner of 7 years was texting someone from work and that he thought he Should move out. He has since been diagnosed with depression. I have been left to take care of a Toddler a 3 year old german shepherd, Im a part tome accountant and i have a house to rub. Found it quite hard learning to be on my own and ended up getting some quided self help therapy as I started having panic attacks and very severe anxiety (this happened before ex p left). He has someone he can turn too but who do I have. I'm so tired of acting like I am fine in front f everyone. I have to get up and go about my days like normal for my daughter. Then 3 weeks ago my mam (who i see most days and is my child care for work) found out totally out of the blue she has leaukemia, no symptoms or anything she was totally fine. She is now over her first cycle of chemo.
I just feel like I am living in a haze atm. My emotions are right at the surface constantly, huge periods of happiness then I am a heap of tears and then so so angry!! I feel like I have no control over myself and that I have no one to talk to. I have friends who I open up to slightly but don't want to burden them with my mental issues! Obviously in the past I would of turned to my partner . If it wasnt for my dd I don't think I would even get out of bed. Humph...sorry about the long winded moan ladies (not sure if it even makes sense or is just a jumble of words!) just don't know where my head is. Was contemplating going to the docs as the past 2 weeks have been horrendous I feel like I can't even think straight sometimes!

[keekeeblue]

Hi, you really are totally overwhelmed at the moment. May I suggest you go and see your GP, you may be offered counselling which will be good for you to talk things over with someone. I always found it easier to break the days into sections. So I would praise myself when I got to lunchtime, then through the afternoon then have a rest once your DC is in bed and do something for yourself. So sorry to hear about your mum. Take care.

[faye0310]

Thank u, i am actually on a waiting list for a counsellor from the last time I tried guided self help. Just find it so hard to shut my mind off and feel so unhappy x