Not like me but feel completely overwhelmed with anxiety today- any advice very welcome as feel like running away.

[fakeblondie]

I know i have some issues-4 dc a demanding job and a dh who although i feel lucky to have because he is a good dad and works hard he does nothing else.
Everything seems to have come at once and i feel like a rabbit in headlights.
I have work issues
4 dc ages 20 - got uni finance to sort, 17 got exams and duke of ed to pay for and buy stuff for and not spending enough time with her ( i mean none ), ds 9 got after school clubs friends who keep inviting him round and i never seem to get chance to return the favour, regularly feel i let him down by forgetting things which are important to him at school, not paid school dinners, after school club school trip (not thro lack of money just time ), he needs doc appointment and i have left it and left it, dd 2 who i love to bits but again dh doesnt pay her cm or take her to health appoint,get involved or look at schools. I have no family whatso ever. My parents and 1 other sibling are very close and im the black sheep so to speak because i put family first and not possessions to be blunt. They live 6 houses away and in 6 years have never once been to see us. My parents retired young but are too busy and think im terrible if i dont bring all dc up to see them every week !
My job is demanding and i end up usually working full time
I have a drawer full of unpaid bills
I am not spending any quality time with my baby dd because i`m always almost treading water to get everyone everywhere on time and in clean clothes with healthy food .
My dh who has a good job and im very glad of that basically manages nothing else. He gets in from work, does help in the kitchen but would never ever open a letter and sort it, or book the car in for a service.
When anything is playing up and i ask him to have a look he doesnt-it then breaks and he HAS to look.
My car is making a clunk and ive asked him 6 or more time to call someone or recommend someone and ill call but he wont until it doesnt start. Same with the boiler.
I just dont know what to do first today.
Am normally so organised and would tell someone else-well get off mumsnet and pay the school fees, but im just walking around stupidly today.
My heart is racing i feel dizzy and im sweating. I feel like getting in the car leaving a note and just driving far far away. I feel like curling up into a really tight ball and want to almost dissapear. I feel sick.Is this anxiety .
Can anyone talk me through doing something to make me see things a bit more clearly ? TIA x

[IFeelDepressed]

...and breathe. You sound overwhelmed at the moment. I think you need a bit of a break, is there any chance of you taking a day off work to sort out the admin stuff and then maybe do something just for you, even just a walk if it is a sunny day? You can tackle admin stuff with some lists, what is urgent, what important and what reoccurs each week or month? For regular things setup a time to do it each week or setup direct debits to pay bills automatically. You are handling a lot, do you find it hard to ask for help, from DH or older children? I'm sure they could do more around house...

[Assajjventress]

I will be honest it's great your husband has a great job but it's his family aswell, both your children, both your house etc. he should sort some things out like the car, maintenance of house, bills etc. You are doing too much.