Social anxiety disorder

[VitoCorleone]

Does anyone have this? Have you found anything that helps?

I was diagnosed with this last year, i was put on citalipram for anxiety and mild depression, but they made me incredibly tired, i was like a zombie. I was also reffered for CBT but quit after 2 sessions after i decided that i just needed to get a grip, i quit my medication too.

Well nothing has improved, and now its getting to the point where i dont want to go anywhere where i might have to talk to/in front of more than 2 people, i feel like i will be "put on the spot" and it makes me really anxious.

So ive just called the doctors and i have an appointmen on Monday but i just dont know what thry can actually do for me :(

[AgentZigzag]

When you say you were diagnosed with it last year, is it something you've always had but never diagnosed with, or was it after something significant?

I don't want this to come out wrong and make it seem as though it's a hopeless case, but I've found trying to shift what I was expecting of myself helped.

I always used to work to the idea that interacting with lots of people = happy and fulfilled life, but I've found that for me, it just adds up to an unhappy/stressed out to the full every moment of the day/loathed myself for my crapness, life.

The more people I withdrew from, the more content, calm, in control, able to think about other things, I was. I've accepted I'm not the type of person who is enriched by interaction with other people.

This is a bit of a long term solution though, and if you're trying to get through it to emerge to interact with people as you have done in the past, it probably wouldn't help

[AgentZigzag]

Oh yeah, and I meant to say that it's probably normal for the Dr to have to try different things to help you out. With something physical it often takes a couple of go's to find the root of the problem and try to suss it out.

Just out of interest, no need to answer like, what was it about the CBT which made you feel you should get a grip? If it was the person rather than the process, could you change who you see?

[VitoCorleone]

Ive had it a couple of years now, i havent always been like this, i think its because ive felt quite isolated for the last 4 years, i lost my job when i was pregnant with DS1, live in a small town where, dispite it being my hometown, i dont know anyone here, all my friends have moved on, its like i just dont know how to interact with people anymore, and now i get anxious when theres people around, especially those i dont know, it probably has spmething to do with low self esteem too.

I quit CBT because, in my head, i thought that if i went it confirmed that i was a weirdo and there was summat wrong with me, so i just stopped going and told myself to get a grip and stop being so lame.

[ProPerformer]

Do you have a best friend you can go out with?
I found that in the early days, of I invited my best mate along with me then I always had someone who could 'look after me' and I knew liked me there so there wasn't so much perceived 'pressure' to socialise with too many people. I also find it easier to socialise with people who I know have a shared interest - I'm a 'social recluse' a lot of the time, only venturing out to my local karaoke, and only then with my best mate, but on holiday at the opera festival I go to every year I'm fine as I know I will always have something to talk about with the people there. Maybe see if you can find out if anyone you already know is at places or socialise somewhere like cinema or theatre where you don't have to talk much - talking and chatting is my main anxiety anyway.

My big thing at the moment is trying to talk to and get to know people at my place of work as I often sit alone in the staff room - there are a few people who I'd love to speak to but can't seem to bring myself to. I did make a move the other day when a college saw me putting up a poster for my latest opera and seemed interested - I bit the bullet and handed her a leaflet. Am now hoping desperately that she will come and see it as then I can ask if she enjoyed it and it's a good convo starter - I shake with nerves having to 'make the first move' for a friendship!

I took citalipram too and didn't get on with it - it's all about finding what works for you. Well done for getting that next docs app.

[VitoCorleone]

Generally if i go anywhere i have DP with me, he's the most chatty person ive ever met so ive come to rely on him to do all the talking whilst i stand in the background.

I do have a best friend but i dont see her very often, she lives an hour away and works long hours in a hospital, then i have another friend who also lives an hour away and she has social anxiety too, just not as bad as mine, but i dont see much of her either.

I also have an appointment with the jobcentre next week, i recently passed my driving test (end of last month) so hopefully i want to get a part time job so i can get interacting with other people again, but i keep changing my mind, one minute i think its a great idea the next i just feel overwhelming anxiety at the thought of working and meeting new people - another reason i made the doctors appt.

[ProPerformer]

I've been there so I understand. Bite the bullet about that job - its hard and very frightening I know, but it will 'force' you to be around people a bit, and people tend to be very welcoming to a new person. I have friends at my work, I just prefer sitting alone, I've had the anxiety all my life though. I would just like to see some of my work mates out of work - luckily for me in a way the person who I gave a show leaflet too is one of the people I really want to get to know. (Extra praying she can come!!)

You are (IMHO) doing all the right things. Something I can suggest is, of you haven't already, maybe get your DH to go and get drinks and leave you 'alone' with people sometimes, you'll have the reassurance he won't be gone long and hopefully the conversations will continue to flow as they will have been started already.

[VitoCorleone]

Well i hope she turns up for you, great way to start a conversation with her :)

I think ive become very reliant on DP to do all the talking, when we where in the travel agents booking our holiday i left him to it and when she started taking our details i could feel the anxiety rising as i knew id have to speak - and now were going somewhere i didnt want to go because i was too scared to speak up. I need to get over this.

[ProPerformer]

Yes I hope she does too!

You do need to get over it, but it will take time so don't be hard on yourself. Start with little steps and work your way up. You've already taken that first step by going back to the doctors.