Revelation

[TheDeathOfMirage]

I finally understood why I want to selfharm when depressed. It is a certain feeling I get. Both the feeling and the guilt of having such a feeling has made me think of SH (or perform). Sometimes this feeling makes me furious. The feeling must have something to do with my chidhood. I have had therapy but we had never really figured why I did sh. Nothing really really bad happened in my childhood. I am very shamed of that feeling and not even sure I can talk about it with anyone.

I got really anxious when I realised that and selfharmed slightly, which I haven't done for several years. I just have to keep on thinking. Maybe I find out what causes this feeling. I am not having any councelling atm.

[amillionyears]

Have you ever had any medical diagnosis of anything?

[TheDeathOfMirage]

I have had several diagnosises like borderline personality, bipolar, narcistic personality disorder and generalized anxiety. The diagnosis changes whenever I go to see a new psychiatrist.