I don't like being dramatic but I hate my life ATM

[5dcsinneedofacleaner]

I don't know if I'm depressed, well no I KNOW I'm depressed but i don't know if its something that is a problem or if its just being miserable because things are shit - if that makes sense.

Ill try to explain but it is hard for me to be dramatic in posts I am lying in bed crying yet I sound as though I am chatting happily away . I don't know what that is about.

We moved 3 years ago across the country, dh wanted to move near his family and had been unwell so even though I was really happy where I was I went along with it. As part of the illness he had lost his job ( nice job I had been a sahm - before this life was good for me).

I hate where we now l

[5dcsinneedofacleaner]

Oh FFs sake my 11 month old just pressed create post in her sleep (talented early blooming mumsneter ) Ill continue!

I hate where we now live, his family are near we get on but he's always going out places which are to do with their interests bike rides up mountains etc. I am alone all the time. After he lost his job he set up a business he needed so much help we run it together , I hate the business I would rather do virtually any other job but I have to do this one the company would collapse without me. I work stupid hours , we Have over £10,000 less a year than before even though we now both work as opposed to him. There is no joy anymore I can't go places with the children in the week as I am working I can't go on the weekends as we are still fucking working. I have to work at home dh has an office - it is incredibly stressful working while simutaneously looking after 5 kids.

We had our fifth here not planned dh moaned about it but tbh that was the only thing that kept me going a blessing for me.

I no longer enjoy anything at all. I can't decide if that's because I'm depressed or if its because there literally is nothing to enjoy. I dare not talk to dh about any of this it descends into an argument /"- we never used to argue like that. He just sees how great the move was for him and the kids and doesn't understand why I don't feel the same.

It's at the point where I just don't want to do it anymore but realistically there is no way out .

[5dcsinneedofacleaner]

I should point out he lost his job due to work related depression he loves working for himself he would not give it up now.

[HellesBelles396]

Now he's happy, it's time for him to help you be happy. Good idea to see a doctor though.

[TheSilveryTinsellyPussycat]

When you are depressed in a shit situation, then it is hard to think how to improve things, because of the depression. So I would suggest seeing your GP about the depression, and don't be afraid of taking ADs. They take a few weeks to kick in, but when they do you will be able to see things more clearly.