This weeks diary - 4 really, really good days. Felt on top of the world. Really positive, confident and comfortable with everything.
Then Friday - down I come. I had an awful day Friday, totally insecure about everything, felt like everything was a waste of time and felt so down and fed up I just wanted to cry.
This morning I tried to perk myself up. I adopted my usual "I'm ok!" persona, wore the smile, messed around like a loon, had a laugh - but I couldn't keep it up and this evening has been terrible. I feel so down I'm really having trouble holding the tears back. I know I won't sleep, no point in even trying.
I have no idea how I'll feel tomorrow - whether I'll be nice to my kids or a snappy cow like I have been for the past two days. I have no idea how I'll feel about my relationship - the source of much angst for me - I have no idea whether I'll be able to pluck up the motivation to go to the shop and buy the essentials or if we'll be scraping the leftover crap from the freezer for dinner. Jesus maybe I'll be on a high again and have an amazing day - fuck knows.
I honestly feel like I'm starting to go crazy.
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Mental health
Cyclothymia (bi-polar/mood disorder), please help, I'm going crazy
4 replies
FeelingDownNFedUp · 20/01/2013 01:06
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