how to stop this

[allthegoodnamesweretaken]

I have suffered badly with depression in the past.
recently I have felt it creeping back in. Today I have a very tight deadline for some uni work. Usually I cope quite well under pressure with uni work because i enjoy uni. Well, i did until recently.

I have tonight and tomorrow to write a presentation and I should be giving it on Monday but i have been trying to make myself do it for a while now and I keep sitting looking at the screen and feeling thick.
I have thoughts that I'm stupid, I can't do it, I can't cope and I just want to give up.

I feel depressed. Worthless, stupid and I can't even muster up the mental strength to just write something. Last year I did really well, but recently i have convinced myself that I can't do it any more.

How do I stop this? I just want to get on but I'm stopping myself.
I need to stop feeling like this now, and when I've had depressive periods before they have gotten a lot worse before they have gotten better, and recovery has been slow. I don't want my DD to see me the way i have been in the past.

I will be assessed on this presentation so I can't just not do it. Which is what I want to do. I know people say you can't just 'snap out' of depression, but how do I at least stop it getting worse? And what can i do about presentation, because I really cannot make myself do it.

[Iggly]

I don't have experience of depression but didn't want this to go unanswered.

What specifically is stopping you doing the work? Does it feel like too much? Can you take a small step - write the title, even if it's just "Monday's presenstation". Then have a break, stick your head out the window for fresh air. Then come back and write 1, 2, 3. These will be the three messages in points.

Then tomorrow do each point. Keep it simple.

Just focus on the presentation, nothing else. Not the bigger picture re the assessment, just the presentation.

[allthegoodnamesweretaken]

I've had a lot of assessments over the christmas break and I have really struggled to manage them alongside work, normal family life and then the added stress of christmas so I have been really behind with all of them. I think that this is just one rushed, stressful assignment too much and I just can't cope.

I'm considering just not turning up and going to GP instead, then using GP letter for mitigating circumstances. I just don't feel like I can do this. I don't want to get really ill again, this is always how it starts.

[HellesBelles396]

I am a prize procrastinator and my life has suffered because of it. Apparently, it's linked to perfectionism - because you don't think you'll do a good enough job you postpone it. then of course, you end up in a spiral as, if you don't do the work - or rush it - you can't do a good enough job.

cbt can help with this so it would be worth self-referring.

[allthegoodnamesweretaken]

That sounds about right Helles
what is cbt?

I'm feeling a bit better as the presentation was postponed, I haven't done much work though and I'm sort of pretending it's not there which no doubt will leave me in the same position in a week's time.

[TheSilveryTinsellyPussycat]

Hi another procrastinator here - brain doesn't seem to get into gear unless faced with a v short deadline.

3 rules of presentation - tell them what you're going to say, say it, tell them what you've said. So either start with overview slide, or with middle bit, or with end slide. So iggly's idea is slide 1 (or poss last one).

Or sit down with blank sheet of paper and brainstorm. Put everything and everything. Then narrow it down from that.

[HellesBelles396]

CBT stands for cognitive behavioural therapy. It helps you to understand and change the thought petterns that make you anxious/depressed. It's a talking therapy delivered through the local mental health team and you can be referred or self-refer. Worked well for me.

Breaking the task down into chunks really helps so set a timer for 20 minutes (you can do anything for twenty minutes) and write down what the presentation has to achieve and what you need to include to achieve that. When the alarm goes off, you can stop. Even if you sit and do nothing, still stay for the whole twenty minutes because you might just get a couple of ideas down in the last few minutes.

Tomorrow, do the same. And every day until the presentation is done.

[allthegoodnamesweretaken]

Is it free?
I have thought about counselling before as I'm not keen on anti Ds, they had a strange effect on me before and also, I'm bf DD. (I know there are some you can take when bf, but I'd rather not just in case) I wasn't sure how to get it though and how much it would cost.

Thanks for the advice, I have got a plan now, and divided it into three sections so it feels a bit more manageable now

[TheSilveryTinsellyPussycat]

Should be free through your GP, although usually quite short I think, 6 weeks. Plus you can do it on-line (can't remember the site though).

Well begun is half done - though don't fall into my trap of well begun is done

[HellesBelles396]

Yes, it is normally 6 weeks but the counsellor (usually a cpn) has some discretion over that so, of you need more help, it would be unusual to just be cut off.

making a plan is the the first battle - sticking to it is the next - well done.