Depressed for no reason

[silverdragonfly]

Hi. Not quite sure what to say about this really. Would just like some opinions I guess.

I have had depression twice before. Both times it was a reaction to particular things (stressful job, sick toddler). Once I took anti depressants, the second time I managed without (changed job and things improved).

The thing is, I feel really down at the moment and there is no reason. Work is great, DS is well. There is no reason, but I feel, well, down I guess. Everything is an effort, I feel tired all the time. DH is away quite a lot for work and when he isn't here I can't face doing anything. As soon as the children go to bed, I just want to go to bed too. I lost weight and was really fit and healthy but I am comfort eating crap and gaining weight and just cannot stop.

Depression? Or just life? I wonder if it is the winter. I feel like a shitty mother because I have no energy and doing anything with the children feels so hard. Everything feels hard. All I want to do is sleep. That isn't right is it.

[elvispelvis]

Maybe you have thyroid problem or anemia. A blood test will tell.

[WithanAnotE]

Silverdragonfly why do you get any illness?
Depression does not always have to have 'a reason'.
Sometimes it can be caused or aggravated by life events but equally it doesn't have to be.
If you had a physical illness that zapped your energy would you be blaming yourself in the same way!?..
Please don't beat yourself up - you will only feed the depressive monster.
Please go and see your GP and see if they can help you tackle this horrible illness.

[silverdragonfly]

Thanks for replying.

Elvis, I was anaemic a while ago so I could check that.

Withan, Its true, I do feel guilty for feeling down without a cause and kind of embarrassed. I have been embarrassed to tell DH about it, like he will think "oh God not again, pull yourself together." I kind of feel like I stumble from school collection to bedtime doing what I have to because that is all I can manage. I've been feeling like I am selfish and/or lazy, but I think it is more than that.

I hate this. I don't want to be like this. I want to be a full of energy mum not a bare minimum one.

[notnagging]

I gave suffered from depression on & off for years. The thing that really helped me was counselling offered from my gp. I wrote a list of everything I was happy with in my life, things that were getting to me & thought about what I could do to change things. I managed to change slot if things-some quite dramatic! I feel much better i have to have a creative outlet & a moment to myself every so often. Have you tried a sad lamp?

[silverdragonfly]

When I had counselling i also found it really helpful. That is why I am confused now, because if I made a list pretty much everything is good. I know how lucky I am - so I shouldn't feel down.

I am going to look into a sad lamp. Definitely. Today in fact.

[quirrelquarrel]

It's probably chemical, OP.

My friend has SAD and even though her situation is much improved she's have a bit of a wobble at the moment (already depressed).