I've never posted on the mental health board before but am having obsessive thoughts that are distressing me and I'm not sure what to do.
It sounds stupid, as I'm virtually an atheist but these thoughts center on religion. I have horrible, blasphemous thoughts that frighten me. I've had this on and off throughout my life and normally comes hand in hand with a period I'm feeling stressed out or suffering from a bit of depression or anxiety. I can't remember how I've got over them before but I have in the past been on beta blockers, ADs and diazepam at different times so maybe it's been them working that's helped. I'm not feeling depressed at the moment although I know if this starts to spiral out of control I'll end up with panic attacks.
This is the first time I've ever admitted this to anyone. I did try once with a gp years ago but he just dismissed what I was trying to tell him. I'm ok during the day, providing I don't have to attend a church or anything (I had a panic attack at a christening a couple of weeks ago and had to leave the building sharpish) or watch a movie with religious connoctations or posts on some people's facebook etc . As soon as night time hits the thoughts start and I find sleeping impossible. The last while I've been getting about two/three hours sleep a night and the only way I can achieve eventually going to sleep is by checking out all the silly threads on mn and trying to distract myself and fill the chatter in my head with other people's until I eventually fall asleep with my phone in my hand.
I don't know what to do. I find it impossible to talk to anyone about this. Kind of like I'm frightened of putting into words what my thoughts are. I'm scared the gp would think me crazy if I did manage it or he would think I'm an awful person. I have a ten week old and really need to be sleeping when I can at night as she doesn't during the day and it's tough looking after her with virtually no sleep.
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Mental health
Obsessive thoughts
10 replies
bigbangdreary · 11/12/2012 23:58
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