Not really sure where I should ask this question but figured there may be some people in mental health who may be able to give me some answers/advice.
I am in my early 40s and I am struggling to understand who I am/why I am like I am. Since I have had a baby I have thought a lot about how upbringing can contribute greatly to the way you deal with relationships as you get older.
I wondered what kind of influences and upbringing might make a person like me, who is:
unable to fit in with groups of people or do small talk, needs to find people they click with to have a good time and basically can't be bothered to make the effort with people who don't click.
Judges other people a lot of the time (Silently) but also feels like everyone is judging them (becoming a parent has made this so much worse).
Sulks for ages when backed into a corner or when embarrassed in public. Holds grudges for a long time.
Thinks about the practicalities/problems of a situation immediately rather than being positive and unquestioning (though I truly wouldn't say I am a negative person).
Has tantrums over things not working (inanimate objects) or not being able to find things etc. Takes it out on other people (verbally).
basically I don't want to pass these things onto my son and I don't want to ruin my relationship. However even writing this down I feel hard done by - I feel like I am being unfairly picked on, that I am not as bad as people (or I) seem to think, that I am a good person who finds it hard to fit in and who needs support when dealing with my emotions. I feel very defensive and while I can sit down and accept that sometimes my behaviour is not perfect I also feel like shouting and screaming and stamping my feet about why I feel so hard done by and why it's all just so unfair. I could literally scream 'you just don't understand!'.
Has something in my upbringing made me have these kind of reactions do you think? Was I ignored when I needed to share my feelings or was I pampered and pandered to? What makes a person react in this kind of a way - makes them feel like they just aren't being heard to the point where they snap and want to scream and shout?
With my son (he's almost 2) I always try to get down to his level and talk to him about how he feels. I hope I am doing the right thing but I know as he grows up he will see how I behave (My mum is very much like me in that she panics and frets over the most stupid things not going as planned) and learn the same behaviour from me.
Sorry if this is long and boring. I just want to find ways to change and reasons why I might be like this.
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Mental health
Why am I like this?
12 replies
DuelingFanjHoHoHo · 10/12/2012 14:09
OP posts:
HilaryClinton ·
12/12/2012 21:28
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HilaryClinton ·
12/12/2012 23:05
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