child protection/mental health

[dudez]

me and my girfreind have an 11 month old son social workers are involved do to us splittin up and me getting into trouble with police. we got back together and social put our son on a child protection order. me and my partner recently had an argument my girlfreind suffers from severe mental health and depression and she accused me of hitting her . we are wanting to get back with each other but social worker is threatning if we do then she removing our son has anyone been in or know anyone thats been in my situation and know what we can do to fight for our relationship and our son ??

[knackeredoutmum]

I think you might want to move your post to chat, relationships or parenting as you will get more relevant responses there.

I cant add much to help you except to say that I am fairly certain that if you "get back together" in any way right now your son will be growing up in foster or adoptive care. If you love your child please work with and through the social worker. If you meet your girlfriend to "sort things out" it seems from what you have said that social services will consider that your girlfriend is not a safe parent either as she is not taking necessary steps to keep her son safe (according to the view of the social worker).

I think you must work with the social worker and direct these questions to her/him. Do they see a way for you to have a relationship with your girlfriend? Do they see a way for you to be allowed perhaps supervised access to your son?

I cant emphasise enough that you must work with them and not try to sneak behind their backs as you will almost certainly be found out, and it is your lovely son who will suffer by losing both of his parents.

[SirBoobAlot]

Also think you should get this moved.

Don't really see the relevance of her mental health condition - social services were involved because of your involvement with the police.

Frankly it sounds like you have a very turbulent relationship. She isn't threatening you; she's warning you that it would raise a concern for the well being of your child. Stop fighting the system and listen to what they have to say.

[icclebabyjesusheave]

Trouble with the police and potential domestic violence - and I'm sorry, but I believe your girlfriend if thats what she says. Social Services don't put such orders in unless they have very real concerns that the child is in danger from the relationship.

My advice? Go along with whats being said now. Keep out of trouble, show that you are making some real changes to how you behave and maybe later things will change.

I also think youg GF is foolish to pin her colours to the mast of someone who is seen as a danger to her son. It means she's putting her needs above his. No wonder SS are involved.

[GlumMentalDefective]

You say you want to fight for your relationship and your son, but the simple answer is that you can't. It might seem unfair but sometimes in life you have to make a choice between the two. You can have either the relationship or your child but not both. Its your choice which you choose, though in my opinion, you should always choose your child over anyone else. Always.