Really struggling with a blip

[natsyloo]

Hello everyone. Goodness, I haven't posted on here for over a year I think. I used to post regularly about PND as I had a particularly bad experience.

I've generally been pretty well in the past year but am just having a 'blip' which has flawed me. A combination of stress of work and having a virus which knocked me out this weekend has sent me into a really anxious state...I was so wired last night I didn't sleep at all.

I've had CBT and have a good support network. I suppose I just wanted to post for reassurance as I feel really panicky that it's all coming back and I can't seem to apply simple self help mechanisms without obsessing about it all the time...which is obviously making me worse. I came off meds a year ago but am thinking of going to see my GP to review. My job is pretty stressful which sometimes I really like, but if I don't get the balance right it can have a negative impact.

Any advice on how to deal with the blips?

[amazingmumof6]

right down all the good things that are going on in your life and literally count your blessings! when you feel truly grateful it's almost impossible to feel sad!

watch funny films/sitcoms - laughter is a good medicine

you are right it's just a blip, avoid turning it into more than that! good luck!

[amillionyears]

You have had a virus and are probably still under the weather.
Take life as easy as you can right now, to help you build your strength back up.

[natsyloo]

Hello everyone, thanks for coming back with your supportive comments.

Lottieloulou - what can I say, it feels like the biggest disappointment to be back in this place after so much time doesn't it? So hard not to beat yourself up about it. What are your symptoms?
I have mega anxiety and have been to the docs today and been prescribed diazepam. Of course, anxiety doesn't come without a helping of depression too so keep having dread feelings and doom and gloom thoughts that really take me back to a time I'd rather forget.

Let's get through it together. Sending hugs xx

[feelingdizzy]

Hi,
Must be something in the air,I haven't had a blip in 5 years and am having the beast of one now.Its amazing that when well all these thoughts seem ludicrous,but when depresssed then seem so real and overwhelming
.
Its a right bastard depression.Am just sitting tight following all my coping strategies and trying not to turn everything into a disaster. Hugs to allx

[natsyloo]

Hello, sorry to hear you're both 'blipping'. Such a nasty experience as it's hard not to feel a sense of disappointment that you're 'back at the starting blocks'.

Lottieloulou, I'm still running the support group. In fact we've doubled our attendees in the last year (now have about 10 mums a week), have funding and complementary therapy taster sessions. Most importantly, it's a place where people can drink tea, chat and be really open about their experiences.

It feels a bit strange advising lots of mums and then not being able to take my own advice! I had such dreadful insomnia the other night I actually was physically jittery and had incessant -ve thought loops. I find it so so hard to be rational in those states.

Anyone use mindfulness as a tool? Again, I find it hard to apply when I'm in the thick of it all but know it can be beneficial.

Hugs back at you x

[JackThePumpkinKing]

Wow, same here. PND, off meds for 18 months and currently really struggling. It IS just a blip though.

[natsyloo]

It seems there are a few of us in the 'blip' club. Think we should re-name it the 'blip support thread' :-)

Hope you feel better soon JackThePumpkinKing.

[JackThePumpkinKing]

Thanks. What is 'mindfullness'?

[doyouwantfrieswiththat]

combination of darker evenings, feeling low after a bit of a bug & check where you are in your cycle whether the blip(s) coincide with the same week each time. My aim is to make it through the winter without meds this year, I know it will be tough for me & family.

Mindfulness is a good tool, I also offload onto dp. longest night is 21st Dec so hope the blips will get fewer after that.

[natsyloo]

Mindfulness is also referred to as 'present awareness'. In non-jargon speak it's all about living in the here and now. It is a kind of meditation that focuses on your senses and really being in touch with the moment you're in so you don't worry about the future or dwell on the past. It takes practice but can be really calming - there are simple exercises you can do focusing on breathing to bring anxiety levels down. Might be worth googling as this is not an educated explanation!

[doyouwantfrieswiththat]

like meditation...practice makes perfect

[natsyloo]

oops. Think our posts clashed, doyouwantfrieswiththat. I think you might be on to something re: the dark nights/being poorly contributory factors. Here's to fewer blips after the shortest day..

[doyouwantfrieswiththat]

[doyouwantfrieswiththat]

Also have seen some info on low vitamin D linked to depression so try a multivit/iron supplement.

[DioneTheDiabolist]

Hi there all you Blippers.
I just want to reassure you that you are not back where you started. Yes you are in a hole, but it is not the same hole. It's a different one, further down the line. It is shallower and it sounds as though most of you now have the tools, if not the strength to get out.

It happens. Don't beat yourself up about it.

I second Fries advice to get yourselves a multivitamin and mineral supplement and some cod liver oil.
Set a date for restarting your self help exercises and in the meantime rest, eat well and do something pleasurable to you (reading, walking, whatever). This will strengthen you for when the time comes to pull yourself out.
Remember the cool stuff that you discussed in therapy? All that is still true, even more true because you succeeded once and you can do it again.

If you find that you are still struggling, go back to therapy (if you can). You may need some more help.

But please remember you are not back where you were before.

[JackThePumpkinKing]

This reminds me of that bit in the West Wing where Leo's telling Josh that story about falling down a hole..

"This guy's walking down the street when he falls in a hole. The walls are so steep he can't get out.
"A doctor passes by and the guy shouts up, 'Hey you. Can you help me out?' The doctor writes a prescription, throws it down in the hole and moves on.
"Then a priest comes along and the guy shouts up, 'Father, I'm down in this hole can you help me out?' The priest writes out a prayer, throws it down in the hole and moves on
"Then a friend walks by, 'Hey, Joe, it's me can you help me out?' And the friend jumps in the hole. Our guy says, 'Are you stupid? Now we're both down here.' The friend says, 'Yeah, but I've been down here before and I know the way out.'""

:)

[doyouwantfrieswiththat]

Jack & Dione (hmm I feel an earworm coming on), I like your perspective.

[chimchar]

no advice, but I too am having a major blip....

must be something in the air eh?

hope everyone is one the up soon...some great posts on this thread. x

[JackThePumpkinKing]

Good recommendations for vitamin supplements, but if you are taking one make sure it contains vitamin D3. I think the WellWoman range have that (don't know about the others, but many have VitD1 instead)

[diseyw]

Hi everyone, I haven't posted for a while either but I am also having a major 'blip'. Absolutely hate this time of year, have recently lost a very close relative and have been having counselling for phobias which seem to have brought to the surface lots of feelings which have left me with severe anxiety and depression. Went to the Doctor on Wednesday in a terrible state. She has prescribed a short course of diazepam and also started me on anti-depressants for the first time. Have been signed off work for a week. Now sitting in front of my SAD lightbox but also feeling quite sicky today with slight upset stomach (probably due to the medication).
Nice to know that I'm not the only one going through this as dont feel so alone reading your posts. Best wishes to everyone going through this! x

[natsyloo]

Great to hear all your advice and sorry to hear other people are wrestling with blips too. Must be the season for it.

Some great pearls of wisdom - esp with reference to the analogy to falling down holes. Always good to remind yourself how far you've come.

Take care all x

[NanaNina]

Ah Hi Natsyloo nice to hear from you but sorry it's because of the bloody blips again. Im still here blipping away from time to time. Surprising how many other Blippers there are. Defo think we should start a blippers thread.

SO sorry that after a year you have "slipped off the path" again or at least "lost your footing" - I suppose I see depression as climbing a hill to recovery but I keep losing a footing (a few bad days, between 2 and 4 and not too bad, maybe improve later in day) but then I slip off the path and can have approx 8 horrendous days. I always get back on the path again but I would certainly have felt that I had reached the summit after a year.

There is no end to the tricks that Mr A&D has up his sleeve. I've decided he is a man! I now call mine the Head Monster and he comes and goes as he pleases, and I definitely feel he controls me. I do try to put CBT into use and try to stop my automatic negative thoughts spiralling out of control, and making me worse, but it's hard to do when you feel so crap.

When I have had a good few weeks, I alternate between thinking that the HM has gone to sleep and thinking I'm overdue for another blip.....it's usually the latter!

Dione's post didn't really fit for me (as it did for many others) the shallow hole thing didn't really fit because I don't think my blips are always less awful as they come along - in fact that vary in intensity as well as length. I had the most horrendous 7 days in October, with no respite till it was almost time to go to bed.

Do other blippers feel worse, dependent upon the time of day. Mornings are always worse for me and I can usually pick up through the day, but I know afternoons or evenings are worse for others. The think I hate is that I can't control my life because I never know until I wake up how I am going to be, and so can't plan anything, though my friends know the score and understand.

Diseyw sorry to hear you too are feeling crap - I honestly think you will need more than a week off work as ADs take a while to work and you often feel side effects before you feel the benefit.

Good wishes to all of you blippers and let's hope they are soon over. It is so helpful to know that others are feeling like this (not that I wish it on anyone else) but it is some comfort to know we are not alone. I am OK at the moment but that could change any day.

Natsyloo - I have diazepam for when I get anxious on the bad days (only 2mg) and I find them really effective.