Especially in relationships etc. I once was involved with a very abusive man and as a result ended up in a psychiatric ward for a month. During that time I thought that one of the men who worked there said a few abusive things to me such as that I was doomed and that I was swimming in treacle. My late mum rekoned that I imagined this as I was ill but I'm not so sure. I do feel a bit doomed tbh. It has stuck with me. I alos phoned a psychic (stupid I know) when coming out of the controlling relationship and she told me i was cursed in love and if £50 she would lift the curse. It was bollocks of course and I didn't pay but I do sometimes wonder. Again;it has stuck.
I just met a wonderful man on holiday; thought he was the best man I've ever met..and he called it off. Since my abusive relationship I have had 10 years of loneliness punctuated by shitty, abusive relationships and bad break ups. My child's father wanted me to have an abortion and I remember feeling that other peopel especially men have never made me happy.
My subsequent world view is that other people are nasty and dangerous and that there is no point looking for a man because I will just get dumped anyway or controlled. I have been through councelling and cbt and tbh I don't want to spend the rest of my life in councelling.
I am alos fed up of feeling unsupported and that I am the only single person at social events. My mum died last year and my then boyfriend abandoned me during that time as 'he couldn't handle it'. I can't help feeling jealous of my girl friends who have lovely men to support them when life is tougha nd who seem to have a lot of admirers. I know I am having a downer but I am just so fed up of trying to be upbeat and positive when I am getting nowhere.
I am on citralopram etc but I just want to feel at the least like a normal person and at best ; semi succesful.
I alos feel that mabe my morals are too high; some of my mates ahve a few bpoyfriends on teh go but I can't and alos I feel that I am too shy to talk to men who I really like. It's all such a mess.
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Mental health
How do I shake the feeling that good things NEVER happen to me/negative world view?
9 replies
superstarheartbreaker · 19/11/2012 17:12
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