I posted this thread in despair a couple of weeks ago. It was a big relief to write it all down, and although I was tooth-and-nail resistant at first, for some reason, to deny any diagnosis of depression, it was fairly obvious to me from everyone's opinions and good advice, that I was going to have to do something to sort myself out.
I haven't been to the GP (sorry, all those people who told me to!). I thought I'd try St John's Wort first. For some strange reason, I had it lumped together in my head with homoeopathy, which I think is a total multi-million-pound-industry joke. And I honestly, truly, expected it to do nothing whatsoever -Â let alone have a placebo effect. And if it was going to do anything, I had read the blurb in the box, which said 4-6 weeks was the likely period of time it would take.
So I was somewhat surprised when, on Day FOUR of taking 2 tablets a day, I started thinking that I was feeling better.
I'm now on day 12 and the way I feel has changed dramatically. It's not a sudden manic excited super-happy feeling or anything, I just feel calm, capable and confident. I feel like me. My whole body has breathed this massive sigh of relief.
My shouty irritableness with the kids has reduced to roughly 5% of what it was; that in itself is more than enough justification to me for taking the damn things! My lovely kids are being treated as they should be, with respect and understanding instead of screechy harrassed stressy coercion.
I just went into the bathroom there and DD2 was standing with half a bottle of handsoap smeared all over her hands and dripped on the floor, along with a fairly copious smattering of toothpaste and Oil of Oilay. White splodges everywhere. Two weeks ago I would've probably started shouting "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!!". That reaction didn't even occur to me this time, I just said something like "what a mess, that's not a good idea, is it, let's clean it up" -Â mild and calm as anything. That's what's inspired me to write the thread, tbh - I was really intending to give it a few more weeks before making any kind of declaration of "better!". I know I might not be, but where I am at the moment is bloody good. I know it sounds melodramatic, but the mental peace that has descended on me is indescribable. I haven't been staring at screens half as much as before either, and am starting to get things done in the house without holding a grinding grudge against it and being unable to get up off my chair to do so. Early days though, I know.
I know I'm only one teeny case here, but if it inspires anyone to try SJW and it works for them too, I'd really be very ! Do your research first though, there are a lot of contraindications. xx
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Mental health
Don't want to speak too soon, but St John's Wort - wow.
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sickofmyself · 30/10/2012 14:33
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