male counsellor - feel a little anxious

[MistressMiggins]

PND since last Mar and seeing counsellor since July
however she was off sick twice when I really needed her
1st time was app after I found out about H's affair
2nd time was app after H left home - shes been off sick ever since
Not her fault

yesterday had phone call asking if I wanted to wait til end of Mar for her return OR see new counsellor...decided new one cos situation changed & cos I feel angry with last one

however its a man....dont all jump on me - Im not being sexist, its just that I find men dr are more to the point rather than listening and men in general certainly see every conversation as you asking for help, so just worried I wont open up enough

anyone else had experience of male counsellor or am I just be silly - you can tell me that - I can take it

[BudaBabe]

I would say give it a go. He will be a trained counsellor - same as your previous counsellor. So he will not react like a "mormal" male - one would hope!

I saw a male counsellor years ago and didn't find it a problem. Saw a female counsellor another time who was dreadful!

Good luck

[WigWamBam]

The first psychiatrist I saw was a man - who was far more empathetic and understanding than either of the women who I saw after him.

I don't think you're being silly, because some men can be as you say - but then again, so can some women!

You have nothing to lose by seeing him; you could find that he's crap, but then again, you could find that he's just the right counsellor for you.

[MistressMiggins]

well he cant be worse than last one

I even turned up to counselling wearing my work badge on chain round my neck and she told me she saw it as a shield protecting myself from something - we ALL wear chains at work FFS

kinda lost respect for her after that

I will give it a go - I keep telling myself how stupid to be negative b4 even met him

[Nbg]

My mum has just finished her CBT with a male counsellor and she said he was brilliant. Better than the woman she was seeing before.

[mummytosteven]

I've seen some great empathetic male mental health professionals in my time. I would give him a chance.

[lalaa]

my therapist is a man and i know people who are training to be counsellors who are men, and they're all fab. IME, tend to be more thoughtful and caring than the average male! there aren't very many male therapists around typically and those that are tend to be special.

[MistressMiggins]

I feel soooo much better (and feel silly for asking )
thanks you guys

[Marina]

Where I work there are male and female counsellors and the male is widely known to be excellent, very patient and able to listen.
You're not just silly MM - it is so important to click with your counsellor. ANYTHING can help or hinder that process, and that includes the really glaring issue of gender. It is totally normal to be apprehensive and/or self-conscious about starting out with a new therapist.
Good luck.

[carla]

Message deleted

[MistressMiggins]

just come back
he was fab
not wishywashy like the other woman and I think its going to be OK
he also booked me str in for 6 in a row whereas other counsellor kept mucking me around so no continuity

he asked how I felt having a man and I told him about you lot
probably thinks Im mad !"!!

[Nbg]

He'll be on his computer now trying to find us!

Glad it went well for you MM.

[MistressMiggins]

didnt tell him the name - not that silly

he did look a bit like the tall (blondish) bloke from Tikkabilla though

[Nbg]

The older guy or the Something Special guy?

[lalaa]

fab

[MistressMiggins]

the older guy

he certainly made me think about things and I felt OK immediately whereas thinking back I didnt really ever feel 100% comfortable with the woman

she used too much jargon "what Im hearing is blah blah blah" and she kept looking at the clock which I thought was rude

[uwila]

Hiya Miggins. I ALWAYS forget to take my work badge off. Not because it is my shield... but just because I forget. What a bizaar thing for her to say.

Glad you like the new guy.

[uwila]

or rather bizarre

[lalaa]

interesting that she pointed that out. probably couldn't think of anything else right at that moment! i was training to be a counsellor until i got a cancer diagnosis, so i do know what it's like to sit there and think 'what shall i say now??!' when you want to be as supportive as poss!