What's gone wrong?

[Pfer]

It seems that just lately I have no patience at all with the DS's. They are my whole life and I love them so very much. They are not naughty boys, but they are on the go all day and do not stop. DS2 now knows how to press DS1's buttons to annoy the hell out of him and he does it on purpose so they do tend to fight quite a bit which always ends up with both of them screaming at me and needing hugs.

I'm so tired, I've not had an unbroken nights sleep since I was about 6 months pregnant with DS1 and he was 4yo 2weeks ago. I get 3 hours a week to myself when I go to a night class and sometimes a few extra hours if I have to go do some work on site at a clients. I work part-time from home and can't ever get caught up because they don't let me do it. By the time DH gets home at night I'm too exhausted to do the work then. Last night I took DS1 to bed and 7.30 and gave him a much needed cuddle then DH woke me up to hours later, then I stumbled to our bed and slept till ds2 woke me up at 12.30. Then I was just dozing on and off till i finally gave in and got up with him at 4am. It's like that every night.

Just not sure how to carry on, find myself yelling too much, stessing too much and they deserve so much better than me. I hate what I am at the minute.

Anyone else like this?

[mummygow]

Pfer someone will have better advise than me - but they dont deserve better than you, your there mum and it's you they love!! ((((hug)))

[beejay]

You sound exhausted! How old is ds 2? Is there any way you can schedule an afternoon nap for yourself?

[SleepyJess]

Pfer they couldn't possibly have better than you; their own mum who obviously loves them very very much! It comes across in every sentence of your post!

You are exhuasted - simple as that. I know what I'm talking about because I have a 5 year old (with SN) and can count the number of times he has slept through the night - in his life! - on the fingers of one hand. What you describe is what sleep deprivation does to you.

You need a system for getting them to sleep through the night (it can be done!) You could talk to your HV about this. Info I have will be different because your children are (I am assuming) NT. You also need to talk to DH about how you are feeling.. tell him how much you love them all but that you are wrung out completely and need something to change to make life a bit easier.

I also empathise re the working from home. I am a part time OU student and they keep banging on about 'study calendars' which is laughable! My world doesn't work like that.. every day is full of rushing about and I too am far too exhausted in the evenings to do much more than fall asleep with my head on my desk, dribbling into my course books! (Yes really! How gross!)

Remember.. nothing changes if nothing changes.. it's true. You need to sit down with DH and really think how you could make some changes and stick to them. There are always some improvements/simpflications that cane be made to family livings arrangements that would a. give you some 'me' time b. start inroads into the boy's sleep issues and probably others which I can't speculate on as I am not an expert on your life and routines.

Good luck, HTH A bit

SJ x

[Pfer]

Thank you. Yes I do love them and am feeling a little better by just getting it out how I'm feeling. DH knows, TBH he's tired out too, how could he not be?

DS2 is almost 16months and he just terrorises me! He vandalises everything he can get his hands on, torments DS1 and runs me ragged. Sadly it's DS1 who gets the brunt of my exasperation and that's not fair is it? I've just had a talk with him and made sure he knows that I love him. He's happy enough at the moment - had a bath by himself and we've played squirting with the bath toys (ds2 was napping).

Sadly DS2 doesn't have a napping time so to speak, I can't plan around his nap time and DS1's playschool to get a rest myself.

Sleepyjess I think you're right in that it's just sleep deprivation that's the problem, I'll just have to be firmer with DS2 to get him to sleep through won't I? (DS1 didn't until just before DS2 arrived). Maybe will ask mum if she'll wants DS1 to sleep over this weekend and then ignore DS2 when he wakes..

Something has got to change and quick.