Please tell me this is just "baby blues"

[bethski]

I am the proud mum of a 7 day old dd. I have a 2 year old ds and a 9 year old stepson. With my ds, the birth was traumatic (emergency c/s) followed by pd which was treated with Cyclogest progesterone treatment. This time round, I started the treatment immediately so that my body wouldn't register the drop in hormone. The birth was completely different this time, with an elective c/s (my friend delivered the baby and my godmother was the theatre nurse) and I was on a huge high. I have been so euphoric because I feel so different this time - I feel that I am bonding with my baby and I have been quite upbeat which I most certainly wasn't last time. I have, however, had moments of mild panic over the last couple of days, where I feel that I can't cope - I am frantically tidying the house ALL the time as though I want to prove that I can keep on top of things and still I don't feel that the house is OK (kind of like nesting, but more manic). I have however been positive and chirpy. My ds has been a bit of a handful (to be expected, I guess) being very aggressive towards me and his big brother (and certain visitors) - although he seems to dote on his little sister - and generally pushing the buttons he knows will get a reaction. I know that he is only doing this because he feels unsettled but I am so scared that he will pick up on the fact that I almost don't know how to deal with him. At the moment my dh is at home but he will be back at work on Monday, and I am really scared that I won't be able to cope. This evening I have really slumped - a complete contrast to how I have been, and the panic has started to set in like last time. I am tired yet don't want to go and have a nap (despite dh insisting) - it's almost as though I don't want to "let go". I am so scared that I am going to be like last time - it all started so well this time and I was really proud of myself yet now I feel as though the whole thing is crumbling. Is this normal "baby blues" stuff or should that all have been and gone by 7 days?

[MrsMiggins]

I would say its normal and dont put so much pressure on yourself

dont worry about the house - you dont need to prove you can keep on top of things - ask for help if you need it

its early days and you hsould just enjoy your new baby

I have a friend who stayed in bed for 2 weeks when she had her 3rd child....her mother came & took over the other 2 children, husband & house....have you anyone who could help you?

big hugs & congratulations on your new daughter

[Redtartanlass]

bethski-congratulations on your wee girl. I think most women get a bit jittery when their dp goes back to work leaving you 'alone' with a wee one. Especially when you've got a toddler as well. I found it really scary. I second what MrsMiggins says and don't be afraid to ask for/accept help.

Good luck

[pinkpappilon]

Similar story here (E C/S - PND) I remember quite clearly the 'panic' and the need to tidy incesently and it never being enough. Also, the unwillingness and inability to rest even with utter exhaustion. This is a sign of trying to stay in control. REST IF YOU CAN. Tiredness throws everything out of perpective. All very well for me to say now I am back on form, but do not expect too much from either yourself, or the kids (or dh!!? yours may be better than mine). Try and 'ride' some of the events as they happen and except them as individual occurances, not as the norm as that can weigh heavy. I suffered because my over ambitious expectations were not met.
Remember how quickly it went with the first one, looking back. You are right, you want to enjoy this one. Try and let some things go, ask for help and accept it happily and without guilt, and if you still feel bad, speak with HV or GP. I know it is irrational, when it kicks in and all the advice sounds correct but often seems empty. It can be just a passing phase as the newness of dd wears off and everyone thinks "2nd child - knows what to do" but insist on help (from whoever will help) when you need it. (((hug))) I am proud of you!!!

[bethski]

Thank you everyone - everything you say, Pinkpappilon, makes sense - I think I kind of knew it myself but makes me feel 100% better having it confirmed by someone else x x x

[pinkpappilon]

Not saying you have pd. Although, would not be anything to be ashamed of, just a real pain that needs fixing and will get better! However, It does sound quite a usual reaction to a new baby. Baby blues and 'new mum' syndrone can last more than a few days. Just keep your eyes open to it and don't let it go, if it wont go away ask for help. Take it as easy as you can and remember you are not alone!!!