Feeling very down & don't know why or what to do???

[Mum2OneAndBump]

I am feeling very very low at the moment and i can not quite put my finger on why.
I am 7.5 months pregnant and the past 3-4 days i have been waking up very very low, every morning i lie in bed from 6am awake thinking that i feel down about the day ahead & down about my life in general.

I do keep thinking about the new baby coming & i am scared about giving birth & also scared about many things like how am i going to cope with a new baby and ds (3 years)? Also keep worrying about ds changing from being an only child and having all the attention to having to share my love? Don't that make sense?

I cry alot & am very emotional, i cry at anything, i also have been disagreeing with dp alot about silly things & like the other night i go to bed and cry myself to sleep.

I don't know what is wrong with me, i just know i don't feel right at all, i am normally happy and get on with life and i was till about 1 week ago, the only thing i can think of is the fact that i only have 9 weeks left till we have another baby in the house & maybe this is what is triggering it all.

I feel i am going to struggle & have sat there and thought why have i got myself in this situation & is this really where i want to be in life?

I love my ds to bits he is my whole life, & i would not change him for the world.

I also feel like i have not bonded with this baby, not really taken much interest in my pregnancy, this was a pregnancy i longed for & now i have it i keep worrying.how will i cope?

I don't know whats wrong with me i can not even think straight i also seem to have totally blocked memory its really effecting me now i even have sadness in my face.

Whats wrong with me should i speak to my doctor? please advise me i just wanna be happy ole me again.

[WigWamBam]

It may be ante-natal depression - it's more common than you might think.

Someone started a support thread for AND today, you might find it helpful to chat there and talk to people who have felt the same way. It's \link{http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk?topicid=2290&threadid=121845\here.

[WigWamBam]

Ahem. Losing my linking touch!

Here .

[Gobbledigook]

MTOAB - WWB may be right so it could be worth seeing your GP or talking to your mw about it. But rest assured, you have no need to worry about sharing your love - it comes naturally, you have enough to go round.

Your dh may, or may not, have a period of adjustment to go through but he will not grow up resentful of his sibling - his life will be richer for him/her. Whenever I felt that way, and I did before ds2 and ds3 were born, I thought to myself 'now, did I feel resentful of my brothers, would I rather have been on my own' and of course the answer was no.

Don't worry about coping, just take each day as it comes - it is an adjustment but you will work out a routine and you'll be fine. You can get tons of hints and tips from MN! I've got 3 under 5 so I know what it's like to juggle toddlers and newborns! It is hard work but perfectly possible and very rewarding - there is nothing in the world like seeing your children interact with each other! It makes your heart melt.

Definitely see someone if you think it's more serious than a normal amount of pre-baby anxiety but I hope you feel a little bit reassured about some of the points you raised

[Gobbledigook]

I meant your ds of course, not your dh! Dur!

[shrub]

i would say it might be your hormones - i have 3 ds's and i got like this with every pregnancy, very tearful, clingy, emotional, exhausted and very anxious about how i would cope when next when came along. all i can say is i too was worried about how on earth will i be able to love another as much as ds1 and when ds2 and ds3 came along a big wave of love came with them! i was quite horrible to dh testing him constantly if he really wanted each baby and me even though we've been together for 10 years i became quite irrational and manic about nesting but again once each baby arrived that left and just a feeling of relief that they were here safe and you begin to relax and enjoy your baby. i remember getting ds1 a baby doll from woollies for 6 pound that cried and wet itself and a little pram just to get him use to the idea. i would get him involved as much as poss. saying do you think the baby needs a nappy change/feed/cuddle etc. then apply it when real baby comes along. buy a present from the baby to your ds to say thank you for being my big brother and maybe get ds1 to do the same near the birth so he starts to get the idea of sharing you. found talking to other mums about how they coped with 2/3 also helped. does ds go to nursery?i is it nearby, can someone help in the first few weeks? if some mornings you are too tired then don't go. also found a rountine really helps doing activity in the am then quiet time or trying to nap in the pm with baby helped to ease into things. internet shopping and not being shy about asking for help.did you have a good birth experience last time?

[Mum2OneAndBump]

Thanks for the link i will go and have a read.

GDG - Thanks for the advice, i am pretty sure my ds is going to love haveing a baby in the house, he loves to help & loves babys/kids. I don't knwo why i feel the way i do i think i am just scared.

I just feel more & more down everyday i wake up i thought it may just be a faze i was going through but now i am beginning to think worry that its more than that.

I just seem to burst out crying all the time, sometimes dp says to me are you crying or laughing & to be quite honest i dont know what i am doing half the time.
I have started to shut myself of from his family as they are annoying me & seem to be upsetting me but i don't know why.

I need to be positive & i am really really trying but i have felt like i am fighting against something for the past 3-4 days and battling all the time, it feels strange.

[Mum2OneAndBump]

Hi Shrub, I know what your saying & i do think it's all the fear of the unknown but i just can not shake it off, normally i can control these things i just feel i am losing control at the moment.
Ds does go to nursery it's only 10 mins in the car away he goes 3 mornings at the moment, which is great cause he is a very energetic,hyperactive, little boy but fab with it, when this baby is due in january ds will be going to nursery 5 mornings so that will help me alot. I don't really have anyone that helps me i have my mum who lives right next door to ds's nursery but she works long hrs and is always tired, dp's family live far far away. I do everything myself & the only break i have is when ds is at nursery. Dp works from 6.30am till 6pm but thankfully is here most weekends.

[carly82]

mum2oneandbump please dont worry i felt exactly the same as you do i have 2ds one who is three and the other who is 17 months. I felt like i had no interest in the pregnancy but i realised things are different second time around as every sensation and emotion isnt new as you felt it before, i was also afraid that i wouldnt feel the same as i could never imagine loving anyone as much as my first ds. But as soon as he was born any fear just melted away i thought that i would have to share my love when in reality my love just doubled . I still think its worth having a word with your m/w or gp though. Good luck and enjoy your new family xxx

[Mum2OneAndBump]

Thanks carly i do feel like that, i think its because my love for ds is just complete unconditional, Me & him are more closer than anyone we are together all the time apart from when hes at nursery.

Shrub- forgot to answer you about my birth experience, it was an ok one pretty straight forward 16hrs long all pain relief & stitches but no complications and pretty relaxed.
I also have this fear that this one is not going to be straight forward & i am going to really suffer, i dont know why i am thinking like that i was so positive with my ds but this time round is so so different.
I'm not enjoying it at all

[carly82]

my ds1 wasnt in nursery or any childcare and i had no family so we were together 24/7 and now i still love him just as much as i did then like i said your love grows.