PND or not?

[shhhh]

Sorry but this is long.....

2 months after having our dd my hv diagnosed me as having pnd due to my result in the edinburgh test. I saw my GP who (having got pnd herself) was very supportive. We discussed my pnd and agreed that I wanted to be reasessed in a months time and to go from there.
When dd was 3 months old I again did the edinburgh test and my result had improved,my hv advised me that there was no need to see me again over it and that was that.My GP however advised me to keep an eye to it etc....

Well my dd is now 6 months and I feel very very low. I am not sure if it's all in my mind or if I am still suffering from pnd.?

Can anyone advise me if the sypmtons I have are "normal" for a pnd sufferer..?

a. I am irritable. Not just with strangers but with my poor dh and my parents

b. I feel drained and especially this morning I feel "empty".

c. I keep thinking of all the wonderful things I have but it doesn't seem to cheer me up.

d. I can't be bothered doing anything..ie going to any m&b groups.

e. I get very very jealous of anyone who plays with my daughter or makes her laugh etc. It makes me feel like my dd doesn't love me and as though I am not capable of being her mother.

d. I feel as though everyone is doubting my capability as a mother...even stuff my mother says has me on edge and annoys me..although I am sure she doesn't mean it.

e. I take evrything everyone says to heart and I feel so "weak" and like a mouse around people, this makes me hate myself as I hate being like this..prior to having my dd I was such a confident and srong person and I now feel the opposite..??

f. I am so horrible to my dh that it upsets me. I know I am being cold to him but I don't know how to change it. He loves me so much & we have been together for 10 years and married for 1 year but I end up saying really horrible things to him.....I don't want us to split and he knows how I am but I just feel I will push him away

I have recognised that all is not well with me and I have booked to see my gp next tue but I just want to ask mners advice..Does this sound like pnd..??? Am I going mad..??? or am I just being nasty..???

[WigWamBam]

It sounds exactly like PND. It's not unusual for it to kick in or get worse as your baby gets older; in fact, it's often at about 6 to 8 months that it really makes itself known. You've done the right thing by making an appointment to see the GP, he can reassure you that you're not going mad and you're not nasty.

Tell the GP exactly how you feel, there is help out there.

[shhhh]

WWB,thanks for such a quick reply. Thanks for reassuring me as well....Its so easy to feel down and so hard to try and cheer myself up.

I though a bit of retail therapy would cheer me up but suppose that only works for 5 mins..!

I have booked in with my gp as I really want to get things back to normal, I hate feeling like this..I read another thread today that someones dh had posted about her pnd and it made me realise how my dh must be feeling . I need to sort this for my,dh & dd's sake.

Thanks again..

[WigWamBam]

Retail therapy only ends up leaving me depressed about my bank balance!

Depression is a horrible illness, but that's exactly what it is - sometimes there's a thought that you should be able to pull yourself together but it's not so simple. And you're right, it does affect everyone but at the moment you shouldn't be worrying too much about anyone else, just concentrate on getting through the next few days and then on getting yourself well.

Let us know how you get on with the GP on Tuesday.

[shhhh]

thanks wwb,it's nice to have mn for advice,sometimes it's even better than the gp...

Yeah I do always feel bed for feeling so bad,a vicious circle really. I will let you know what my gp says on tue.