snip or sterilisation?

[MerryMarigold]

Definitely do not want any more kids.

Dh not hugely keen on snip. I don't mind being sterilised, but no idea of how painful or how long I would be out of action (3 youngish kids).

Any experiences? Is either more reliable than the other?

[ElBombero]

Watching with interest!

[MyNameIsLola]

Sterilisation is a much more invasive procedure.

My DH had the snip a few weeks ago, it took less than 15 minutes, he managed the two days of aching with paracetamol and was back at work the following day. OTOH, a female relative was sterilised a couple of years ago, she was in a lot of pain, needed two weeks off work and really struggled with day to day stuff. Luckily, she had no you DC to care for.

You can't force your Dzh to go through with it if he really doesn't want to, it's his body, but it is a much easier procedure for a man. You both need to sit and discuss the options and implications.

[MerryMarigold]

Thanks, Lola. 2 weeks off work to look after the kids may clinch it for him. the idea of being an invalid for a couple of weeks is quite blissful though!

I have heard that the woman's tubes can untie themselves or rejoin or something. Is this true or some old wives tale?

[Branleuse]

I was sterilised last year. it was fine. in and out the same day. I only have a tiny scar in my belly button.
I trust it more than the snip.

[scaevola]

FPA on male and female sterilisation.

Both types can fail by recanalisation, but the failure rate for vasectomy is much lower than for female sterilisation, thought there is a new (and not yet widely available) procedure called Essure which is meant to have a lower failure rate.

What are your DH's objections, and is he likely to be persuadable? For it is also the simpler procedure.

[Yettish]

I was sterilised - it was a piece of cake. Keyhole surgery, in and out the same day, back at work after two days no problem. I'm all for taking responsibility for your own fertility.

[MerryMarigold]

Ah. Recanalisation. That's the word.

Dh's objection is close friend who had it done has told him it affected a lot of sensation and now sex is like doing it with a sock on!

[MerryMarigold]

Wow, 1 in 2,000 vs 1 in 200 is a very big difference. I think that may also clinch it for him. Thanks for that scaevola.

[Branleuse]

my uncle has had 3 vasectomies. one after each child.

[MerryMarigold]

Branleuse. At odds of 1 in 2,000, 3 kids that way is pretty high odds. He should have gone to Ladbrokes!

[noisytoys]

I was sterilised at the same time as a caesarean. They say failure rate is higher but this one hasn't failed

[TheFuzz]

Easier for the bloke - simple op. They can go wrong and leave the bloke in constant pain. See the 'other thred'. It's a gamble, like any operation. There is no way of telling if he will be the un-lucky one.

1 in 10 have problems, then you are up the creak without a paddle as for 'after care'.

If it goes well, it's a couple of days discomfort. If not, well, having them chopped off is an option !

[scaevola]

I think this is the 'other thread'

TheFuzz: I am so sorry to read that the problems which you thought had gone away a little while ago seem to have come back with a vengeance.

[TheFuzz]

So did I.

Turned down the first op as thought things had improved and I couldn't have had sufficient time off work. Nope back with a vengeance within a month - looking at double surgery now, or lopping them off !!

[BornInACrossFireHurricane]

So sorry you're going through that thefuzz. We have discussed my DH having the snip as we don't want anymore children. He is anxious about the pain element of the procedure (he is funny about any pain to his bits due to an op when he was younger) but feels we need to do something concrete with regards to not having more. I had no idea the odds were as high as 1 in 10 for complications. Puts a new spin on things!

[scaevola]

The 10% refers (I think) to all complications, many of which resolve in a couple of weeks. There doesn't seem to be clear evidence out there about rates for the more serious, longer lasting complications.

[ShowOfHands]

We've just started looking at the cost for DH to have a vasectomy privately (DH has asked about having it done on the NHS but they're reluctant). The two local hospitals are quoting £1k or thereabouts. I can't believe how expensive it is. They're happy to sterilise me on the NHS though. It seems a bit crap that they're happy to operate on me but dragging their heels over DH. I didn't want cost to be the deciding factor for us, but it might have to be.

[TheFuzz]

Privately it should be about £300-£400 - Marie Stopes do it. My local NHS Trust arranged for me within a couple of weeks from 'asking' to having it done. Went to GP, 'oh it's that time' OK then, 2 weeks later, snip ! No cost !


Pain wise, your DH shouldn't feel it. The initial injection didn't hurt, neither did the small incision. I could hardly feel them rooting round for my pipes. Even said to the GP couldn't feel it, so was quite relaxed. First set of zaps were pain free, but the burning flesh smell is not nice.

Wasn't until the second, I told him I could feel what he was doing, and then came the first zap and I nearly hit the roof. More injections, asked him to wait for it to take, he didn't, nearly hit the roof again, More injections.

1 in 10 is the NHS figure. I was quoted by Urology that they see quite a few men with long term pain after the snip - 1 in 20 they said. Came as a surprise.

The GP practice denies he has had any men with long term pain, yet the NHS trust says they see quite alot of men - many of them will be from this GP as he has the contract. So, you can see there is much denial of problems, and if you do get them the treatments aren't good.

1st Time - conservative approach, and or drugs (anti depressants and anti-seisure drugs)

2nd Epididymectomy - Pipework cut out - 100% sterile after this.

3rd De-nervation - operation to sever nerves - can leave you with no feeling down there at all, including into legs.

Or Lop them off !

[scaevola]

Try Marie Stopes. They have clinics across the country and cost about £400. DH was done by them as the NHS waiting list in our area was about 6months, and having decided to do it we didn,t want to wait that long (especially as it can take 16-18 weeks to get the all clear afterwards).

They do it under local, by electro cautery, and employ doctors who tour these clinics performing vasectomies every day, so you can be pretty sure his bits will be in experienced hands.

[ShowOfHands]

I'll check out Marie Stopes. DH's only concern is that he has had two operations in that area before, once for a twisted testicle (under a GA) and once for a torn foreskin/snapped summat or other. Second op was under a local and he screamed. They held him down. He said it hurt like you wouldn't believe. They clearly didn't believe him either as it took two male nurses holding him down to finish the procedure. He's worried that it'll be that bad again and he will be ignored again.

[ShowOfHands]

Nearest Marie Stopes is 70 miles away...

[TheFuzz]

Where ever he goes, he needs to let them know about the previous twisted testicle.

They would need to be careful !

[scaevola]

With that history, it might be worth badgering NHS to get them to overcome their reluctance. Because it sounds as if he would need an experienced vasectomiser (?) and possibly being done under general as they might need to fossick around any scar tissue from the previous testicular operation.

[ShowOfHands]

The thing is, the doc we saw knows his history. He also cycles a lot (70 miles a day) and he is prone to epididymal cysts which swell when he's cycled a lot. I think a vasectomy for him probably is trickier than for other people. I'll get him to go back. Their argument is that he mind find a younger, fitter, more desirable me and want more babies.

[MerryMarigold]

ShowOfHands, why are you reluctant to go ahead with the sterilisation?