Dd is coming up to grade 1 piano. She is a terrible perfectionist. She can play her pieces well but her mounting panic is causing her to get more and more tense and make more mistakes, which adds to her panic. I have told her it doesn't matter, and she doesn't have to take the exam but she is determined that she wants to take it. I've told her that if she wants to do it, she should just relax and enjoy it, and that occasional wrong notes in practice don't matter. She doesn't seem to believe me (I'm her Mum and clearly Mums know nothing).

Do any of you have any wise advise as how I can defuse this?

Thanks

You could tell her that the examiners are EXPECTING her to make mistakes. (That comes from the Chief Examiner herself). What they are looking for is a performance, and in order to perform she has to enjoy it. The odd wrong note really won't matter.

She'll be fine. And it is only 12 minutes long!

Thanks Tortoiseshell - I think I need to convince her examiners are on her side...she seems to think she will be walking in to a torture chamber! (although she is still determined to go - strange child!)

Ds1 is doing his grade 1 violin this term - I think he could DO with a bit of panic! He is oblivious to the idea of marks/passing/failing/distinctions etc

If you had a child who was getting in a panic about pieces would you encourage them to play something else for a couple of days?

My dd had the wobbles about her trampolining competiton last night.

I told her it was all about the experience of competing that she would learn from and that if she went out and forgot everything, her coach would holler a reminder from teh side. I think the fact I truly am mot worried about the outcome (not like school eek!) that has had some impact.

Tell her that panic and nerves are good. It means she cares.

Tell her that you have received a letter/email from the board saying how much they are looking forward to hearing her play and wishing her all the best.

That should do it