He's been doing it for over 3 years now. He took a break over the summer (2 months) and now says he doesn't want to do it anymore as it's boring and he knows how to defend himself (he's a green belt). It's an hour twice a week. I hate to see him give it up after doing it for so long

Having similar dilemma with dd (7 yo) over dance and drama. I have told her if she changes her mind there is a long wait list to rejoin. She wants to do horse riding instead DO you know how much that costs? . I have basically asked dd to go back to the first lesson on saturday and then make her decision. However no promise of riding is being made.

that makes sense. But if I have him go to first lesson tonight I have to pay for entire month. And we're going to be gone for 2 weeks this month.

Horse riding is VERY expensive.

what about telling him if he goes for the next term/half term and then still wants to give it up then he can, but he needs to go back first and see.

It's often hard to go back after long holiday.

He is being very adamant

I tried the go back for a bit and see approach just now. He is adamant.

If he is adament I wouldn't make him. Extra currciular activities IMO should be fun and of the child's choice. Once they don't want to do it any more they shouldn't have to, once the paid amount has been completed.

He says it's boring and not cool. I told him of course it's cool. Very, Very cool people all know a martial art.

I had this with Dd1 and ballet.

She started when she was 3 and decided she didn't want to do it anymore when she was 9.

I was dissapointede that she gave it up, but I didn't want to be spending all that money on making her do something she didn't want to.

I had this with Dd1 and ballet.

She started when she was 3 and decided she didn't want to do it anymore when she was 9.

I was dissapointede that she gave it up, but I didn't want to be spending all that money on making her do something she didn't want to.

well that's it really. he gave it up once before for a few months and then decided he wanted to do it again.

I would like him to stick with it because I like knowing he can defend himself.

it's not cool? Like playing chess is?

oh I'm so torn. He really really doesn't want to do it but I want him to know how to defend himself. Especially as he'll be going to secondary school in a couple of years and especially as he'll be a year younger than everyone else and a skinny, scrawny, chess playing kid

BUT most importantly he's got anaphylaxis and my absolute worst nightmare is some bully shoving peanuts in his face for "a laugh" There have been cases of this in the States. It made my blood run cold reading about it.

Could you maybe suggest he does another "cool" sport like football?

I did Karate for several years when I was younger. 5 years later I got into "a spot of bother" with a bloke and he found himself layin on his back on the floor in no time. Yes martial arts is good to defend yourself, but I agree he does not lose the ability just because he stops practicing. Ensure he stays fit and healthy.

I would not push him if he does not want to. He will just be miserable.

Maybe he and DS2 could take up football together? Or is the age gap too big? In any event, the same football club may run classes for their agegroups at the same time. ANd you kill two flies in one stone.

he does irish football. As does his brother.

Really? You don't forget it? He forgot swimming. didn't think that was possible after 4 years of it but he was very unsure of himself after no lessons for almost 2 years.

If his heart isn't in it, will he really learn more from it??

Going in to secondary, there will always be bigger kids and tbh if he used a martial art on them for any reason, he would be the one in trouble, BIG trouble. Best advice would be to teach him to run! I think you'll find that most schools are vigilant where severe allergies are concerned. I have never heard of any thing like having peanuts for a laugh. And you son needs again to learn to walk away from any kind of trouble. If it did happen it would be a serious criminal assault, I don't think you would need to worry about that one

I'd let him give it up, if he wants to resume later, he will learn it isn't so easy to drop stuff and pick it up again later, a good lesson to learn

He forgot swimming?

Umm, then I cant guarantee he wont forget tae kwon do..... sorry...

What, did he just sink?

If you're going to be missing two weeks anyway, give it a miss until next month.

no he forgot his strokes and turning his head to breathe, that sort of thing.

oh god I give up. He is BEGGING me not to make him go.

Dont make him. Maybe he is tired? Maybe he wants to just chill at home? He has a hectic schedule already, doesnt he?

Spend the time well. Dinner, homework, family movie time, that sort of thing.

no. he's been resisting for a while. I told him before summer holidays to at least get his green belt and then he could quit if he wanted. He got his green belt and was so thrilled that he said he didn't want to quit anymore. But that was before summer holidays.

I'd just apologise for not listening to him and say ok I get the message now, it's your life and it's important to feel able to make choices and be listened to.

How about saying to him well how cool would it be to get a black belt. Even the very phrase 'black belt' sounds impressive, no matter what martial art it is. If you give up now it'll be harder to get back to it and it's harder to get a black belt when you are older.

If he's at a green belt then that's only 6 more gradings (if I remember correctly). What age is he? Does he take part in tournaments? How can it NOT be cool to win something at a tournament.

I used to do TKD and want my kids to do it when they are older. DH doesn't like the idea but as he is 6'6" and never been bullied in his life I don't think he really gets my meaning. I would just feel better knowing they could disarm someone with a knife and get away.

Well I'm a taekwondo instructor (not doing that at the moment though) and I'd say if he doesn't want to go, don't make him. There's not much point in just turning up to training if you are not motivated and not enjoying it at all.

If you said he could quit after getting his green belt, then really you have to let him quit if he wants to.