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Extra-curricular activities

DD wants to give up ballet & tap

8 replies

couldtryharder · 06/04/2013 14:20

Our DD 7yrs wants to give up her weekly ballet and tap lessons. I don't want to be horrible and force her to do anything she doesn't want to but on the other hand I'm really keen for her to have some active hobbies. She was recommended to do lessons by her street dance teacher as she showed really good skills and the ability to learn quickly. So we found her some lessons locally that she has now done for several months. Bought all the gear once she's been for a few months and was sure she liked it. But today she has declared that she no longer wants to go. she was doing a full 2 hours (two sets of half hour lessons) so she could catch up with the other girls in her age group which I know seems a lot, but she isn't interested in going if we change it to one set of lessons. She does jujitsu for 45 mins a week and 1 hour of street dance a week, then one hour of drama club. As I think primary school PE lessons are pretty lame, I wanted to make sure she was active, getting exercise and having fun. I don't want to send her if she isn't having fun, but I don't want her to give up on everything that's a bit of an effort sometimes - the same thing happened with gymnastics a couple of years ago & she was promising at that too.

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iseenodust · 06/04/2013 14:31

I think it depends on whether she has been having a downer on it for a while or today is pretty much the first time she's said that. If she isn't having fun it's two hours wasted recreational time. It doesn't matter if she shows promise if it's not her thing. DS was good at swimming but he decided he preferred it as a fun thing only.

Could you up the street dance to two hours ? I appreciate what you are saying about primary PE lessons. DS's outdoor kit came back unused in the whole half-term and most of the indoor lessons had been cancelled due to staff absence.

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adoptmama · 07/04/2013 09:46

She's doing 3 different types of dance for quite a substantial number of hours. I don't think it is unreasonable that she wants to cut down a little to be honest. Why doesn't she want to do it if she cuts back to one hour (stopping the 'catch up' lessons) - is she worried at being below the standard of the other children in the class? How long will she need to do the extra lessons for (if they stop soon maybe she will be happy just with the normal lessons)? From what you have written she is doing 3 hours of dance, plus almost an hour of jujitsu and then an hour of drama. That is a lot of after school activity to fit in. I don't think you need to worry about her being fit and active; if she is running around at playtime and playing after school (on her bike, running, skipping etc) with friends she will be getting loads of exercise. Has she said why she wants to stop: you said you wanted her to have activities that are fun and it might just be that she is over exposed to dance and is finding it more work than fun.

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mercibucket · 07/04/2013 10:01

If she's only said about giving up today, then mybe a deal to do it for 2 months, and see how she feels then?
Does sound a bit dance heavy, maybe she would prefer another sport? Or is there something about the new class eg one of the kids has said something mean?
You could also do a deal to swap for another sport, although tbh she's doing a couple already.

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mercibucket · 07/04/2013 10:01

If she's only said about giving up today, then mybe a deal to do it for 2 months, and see how she feels then?
Does sound a bit dance heavy, maybe she would prefer another sport? Or is there something about the new class eg one of the kids has said something mean?
You could also do a deal to swap for another sport, although tbh she's doing a couple already.

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Ledkr · 07/04/2013 10:05

Is it because she's been on Easter hols?
I've been off too and I'm dreading work tomorrow.
Ask her to go for the first ones back and then decide.

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Kbear · 07/04/2013 10:13

Take her to a ballet performance for inspiration! But also if you add up how much activity she does against how much time she has to just "be", you might re think dropping one activity per week. Kids have a full day at school - their brains are engaged all day long whether physical activity or not, so I am a great believer in lounging some nights after school as well as doing activities.

My DD used to do street dance, ballet, guides, help at Brownies, swimming, and this has whittled down to just ballet and helping at Brownies now (she's 14).

She won't do everything forever, maybe ask her to pick her favourite activity and stick to it then factor in more general outdoor time with you so she's active but not in an actual paid class?

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marinagasolina · 07/04/2013 23:19

How seriously is she taking the street dancing? I only ask because my DFD used to compete in lyrical, jazz, tap and contemporary and the only ones allowed on the competition teams, to have solos/duets etc were those who took a certain number of ballet and tap classes, even if they weren't competing in these. Ballet is the basis of all forms of dance and tap is often considered crucial for rhythmic sense and technique. The kids who were amazingly talented at another dance style but didn't take ballet and tap were told they could compete, but only if they started taking ballet and tap. Admittedly this was in the US, where as I understand it dance competitions are taken much more seriously.

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purplepenguin86 · 09/04/2013 00:59

I would encourage her to stick with it for the moment, just because it sounds like her not wanting to do it is rather sudden. The thing with ballet is it is so important for all types of dance, and so much harder if you start later, that really I would encourage a child who is doing any type of dance to do ballet as well. I know people who stopped ballet when they were young but carried on with other types of dance, and when they were older they really regretted not sticking with the ballet, as it is just so vital. Could you see how she gets on with it this term?

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